Co-Sleeping

[angel1980]

Does anyone else do this or is it just me?

Ds is 5.5 now so is getting a bit old for it really, but its been this way since i split from his dad when he was 2, he became very anxious at night and co-sleeping just happened! I don't mind too much tbh but i think some people have a problem with it.

[mariesmummy]

DH and I co sleep with DD (21 1/2 months).

Not sure what we are going to do when bump arrives- If Dh was at home during the week, then He would sleep with her and I would sleep with bump, but he works nr manchester, so that isn't going to happen!

I might juts have to get used to having me and 2 littleys in there!

I know what you mean about other people - but then so many people think that the way to make a child independent is to force them into it, rather than giving them the support they they need.

You go with whatever suits the 2 of you - I'm sure that he will be asking for his own bed soon enough (before he turns 18 at least) :lol:

[angel1980]

Thanks mariesmummy, i hope so! :crossfingers: lol

[Netty]

Dd spends some part of the night with us! I usually wake around six to find her next to me .... Sometimes she gets put back into her room, or depending on the time I may leave her.

If I was on my own, I think I would be co-sleeping with her, no problem.

[Girlzmum]

There are times when I wish my dd would just curl up beside us in bed and go to sleep (at 7 this morning for example!!) but she is so independant and totally refuses!! She thinks our bed is for jumping on!!!!

[bikemad]

Have to be honest angel if I were single id coslepp with ds until he was ready not too.When dp is on nights on occasions ive had ds in with me but as a rule he likes his own room.

[Clare]

My daughter's five and a half and she still sleeps in with us most nights...well me, dh works til 2am so he usually moves Emily into her own bed when he gets home.

[Tamara]

We co-sleep with my 11 (12 on Saturday :( ) month old We agreed that she has untill she is 2 to 'move out' were ok with that completely. We co-slept with my second to the youngest untill he was about 10 months old but moved him out because he was a Wild sleeper and was all over the place. kicking and hitting in his sleep we moved him and he slept Much better :)

[blueberry]

I would never co-sleep with DS because DH is such a wild sleeper he'll crush the baby! So my little one sleeps in a cot next to our bed, and he's a very good boy in the sleep department (at least for now :D ) - when it's bedtime I just put him in the cot, give him his pacifier, turn out the lights and leave him there to count his fingers until he falls asleep! Maybe when he's 1 (that's in February) we'll move the cot into his own room, can't wait until he stops night feeding - he still guzzles milk like anything!

If you really feel like wanting Lyndon to sleep in his own bed, maybe you could make him a really nice room with whatever theme he likes so that he'll want to spend his time there. Otherwise he'll want it soon, I know I did. I co-slept with my dad until I was 6, then shifted to co-sleeping with mom and a sister until I was 11!!! :lol: :lol: Then I said to myself "gee this is boring, I wanna be independent" and moved into an empty room!

[Netty]

Just keep doing whatever you are both happy with Angel.

Maybe moving to the new house may be a good time to start a new routine (or as soon as possible, after Christmas etc.)

[angel1980]

Yes i was thinking about that, i let him choose the decoration for his room in this house and made it all nice but when it comes to it he won't sleep there and gets so upset, i might try it when i move. Sometimes though i give in just for an easy life really (or a peaceful evening!) which is bad i know. I am going to try though. Thanks. :D

[Ravenfire]

Lucie has decided lately that we are co-sleeping whether we like it or not! Dh has even taken to going into her bedroom at night now if she comes into ours, so that he gets a good nights sleep!

[bikemad]

These last few mornings ds has taken to wakeing at 6am n coming in with us to sleep so as he can spend at least some of the night in with us. :rolleyes:

[xmisscx]

Ethan has been sleeping with us lately from about 3am, its driving me mad, wouldn't mind if Mat wasn't in the bed aswell!

[Macaroni]

To all those who co-sleep, how on earth do you have intimacy with your OH???? :(

[sanjan]

Apart from the odd night (either due to illness or no choice ) no way would I have co-slept with eithr of my 2 as they are terrible kickers and wrigglers.
We once due to lack of beds a couple of years ago put the pair top to toe in one bed and ys kicked in his sleep and got kicked back so the only ones who had a good nights sleep where the granparents.

[mariesmummy]

To answer the question re intimacy, here is an extract from an article which I wrote for the local NCT branch:How does bed sharing work?
I often get asked this question – and usually I start off by explaining that in my case, now that Marie is older, I put her to sleep in the double bed upstairs, which has bed guards, nurse her to sleep, and when she is asleep I go downstairs and have adult time – doing things like writing this article. My husband (Simon) and I go to bed later, when we feel like it, and climb in with her. When she was younger she slept on my side of the bed between me and the bed guard. Now that she is older she sleeps between us, and Simon races me to bed so that he can be the one that she cuddles up to at night. In the morning, we all wake up together and Marie has sleepy morning cuddles, rather than one of us jolting awake when she cries from a cot and running across the landing to her. Some co sleeping parents put baby to sleep in their own cot to start with and then bring baby into the big bed after the first night time feed, or when they go to bed themselves.

This isn’t the answer that people are usually looking for – They want to know how we manage when we are feeling amorous! The answer is that rather than cramping our style, co sleeping has actually made things more interesting. We have both a spare bedroom with a double bed and the nursery with a single bed that Marie isn’t using, so we take our pick. It obviously works as we are expecting our second baby in May!

People also seem concerned that co sleeping is for life – on the theory that once you let a child sleep in your bed, you will never have the bed to yourselves again! Many co sleeping children move into their own bed at their own pace, although some parents do make an effort to change the sleeping arrangements when they feel ready. This generally causes no more difficulty than moving a child from a cot to a ‘proper bed’, especially when done in an accepting, loving way.

It also helps that DH and I aren't 'only on a saturday night at 10:30' kind of couple IYSWIM ;)

[angel1980]

That was a great article, thanks mariesmummy. It has re-assured me a bit that i'm doing the right thing for now. :D

[lizzie]

I always co-sleep with mine well did do untill 2 years ago i see no harm if both parents are happy , but nowadays my morning are woke by poo so no climbing into my bed its up and cleaned

[Actinidia]

I always said I would never co-sleep on a regular basis as my sister still has a 10 year old and a five year old in her bed every night and ends up sleeping in one of their beds!

However, with DS we have just found it so much easier for all of us to put him in our bed. I never did it with DD (unless she was ill). But Ds isn't so much of a wriggler. Funnily enough it is far less disruptive. We put him down to sleep in his cot and when he wakes in the night we bring him into our bed. Often this is as late as 4.00am.

Before I did this I was up several times in the night, often for more than an hour trying to get him back to sleep and still feeding him once in the night. This way he doesn't want feeding and goes back to sleep almost immediately. He also doesn't wake DD - which his hour long crying sessions used to do.

Sometimes DS decides to sleep horizontally across the bed but, luckily for me he always puts his feet in DPs face (!) and DP is such a heavy sleeper that he never seems bothered/disturbed!

So if it works for you and means you get some sleep then go for it!

[Ravenfire]

I wouldnt mind co-sleeping if I had a bigger bed. I always am the one that ends up on the edge..lol!

[Netty]

LOL Raven! When dd decides to join us,she climbs in next to me, which means she is near the edge ... She's fallen off/out twice now! :D

The other night, she came in to us and woke me. I decided I needed to go to the loo, (TMI?) this is about 5.15am. Went back to bed to find her sprawled across my half of the bed, so I went to her room and back to sleep for a couple of hours!

[mariesmummy]

LOL Netty - DH does that too! I'm not sure how he likes the teletubbies duvet set, but he seems to sleep OK in there

[lisa1980]

before hollie was a "big girl" (her words) she always slept with me to be honest it got on my nerves she is so fidgity in bed but it saved me having to get up to her all night.

now she sleeps in her own bed apart from when shes ill or has this constipation i think u do whats best for u i know when we had problems that i just put her in my bed as there was no one else to help :(

[Girlzmum]

Even when madam was ill and I wanted her to be in bed with me, am terrified of her being sick and me not being there for her, we tried to put her into our bed and she bounced round thinking it was playtime! Ended up putting her back into her cot (we tried sleeping on the floor but she thought that was a game as well)

[pie]

Ok I've yet to get an answer I like on this one but though I would ask here. :)

Does anyone co-sleep with a baby and that baby sleeps through the night? Heck I would settle for not waking every 30 minutes. :( How did you do it?

[blueberry]

How old is the baby?

[mariesmummy]

i definately found that sleeping with marie meant that she slept longer - but not all night. I didmake feeding her much easier and not as wakeful for me - and number 2 is definately going to sleep with us.

It helps that I bf'ed (and still do) Marie - I can 'wap my baps out' without even thinking about it (TMI :question: )

Got ot run now _ dd's second birthday party is just about to start ( well one of them at least - she has a bigger one this weekend)

[pie]

My youngest is 15 months old has NEVER slept through the night, honestly never. She is still b/f and screams everytime she wakes up until I feed her, she doesn't feed at all during the day.

Last night she woke up 12 times. :(

[blueberry]

Oh dear me! :o Honestly I have no idea to suggest you, Pie. Except probably if you could get her to feed during the day, that should help reduce the night feeds though. Does she eat a lot of solids? If she eats a lot that might help reduce her dependancy on your breastmilk. Does she wake up every time to drink milk or just simply for reassurance that someone is there? What does the doctor say?

Somebody please help Pie! :help2:

[pie]

Hi Blueberry :) Well she only woke up 5 times last night...a good night! I spoke to the Health Visitors yesterday and they've made an appointment for us to go over some things. She is very much on solids, and I'm sure the b/f is only for reassurance and out of habit. As a wee baby she had reflux and someone has suggested that she may still so I will try her on some Gaviscon too.

I was so upset yesterday that I just left her with DH and went out to spend some time by myself, that helped me!

Thanks though, it's good to talk this over and get new ideas.

[blueberry]

:D Glad to hear you're sorting it out Pie. And don't be shy about taking time off. Good luck with the appointment! Tell us how it goes.

[trogette]

not sure if this has come up elsewhere pie but have you seen www.drjaygrodon.com article on night-weaning?

[Mum2one]

Hi Everyone, My DD slept in with us from the day she was born till she was 15 months, she is now coming up 3 & still gets ion with us, but when she wakes up.

We loved it but did have to buy a King Size bed lol :D

[angel1980]

Did your dd want to go into her own bed or did you decide? Sorry i dont mean to be nosey, just wondering. :D


(says angel who is still co-sleeping with her nearly 6yo ds :rolleyes: )

[mum_2_jamie]

md :babyflips: has three beds lol one in his room one in my room and one in my house keepers room and he can sleep in whichever one he wants however he generally wakes up in mine or house keepers bed tho he preferes the cats bed

[Wundatigga]

Erm when i was breast feeding i used to have ruben in the bed with me as i never had the space to put the cot next to the bed and i sometimes fell back to sleep while feeding so he would stay with us for a few hours.. if i woke up he'd go back into his bed but sometimes it'd be the morning and the next feed/change before i noticed! But this time i'm going to take the side panel off the cot and put the cot up to our bed to save getting in and out as our bedroom here has the space!

[naturalnursery]

Just keeping doing what you know is right for you both - don't worry about what anyone else says, they don;t know your child as well as you do.

Arabella

[Ravenfire]

Just thought I would bump this up as lots of new members have joined. Is anyone co-sleeping with their children and I am always interested to know if you have a normal double sized bed how you manage to sleep yourself! When DD3 used to climb in with us I used to find myself on the edge of the bed and I just couldnt sleep. Now I have my superkingsize I dont even notice she is there..lol :laugh:

[angeleyes]

Yeah Leah still sleeps in my bed....She falls asleep in my bed, then i move her back to her bed, then at somepoint in the night she ends up back in my bed!!!!!!

We bought a kingsize bed too, but she always sucks her thumb and plays with my hair i think thats her way of settling herself?, so she is literally on top of me....which is very annoying, as i hang off the bed..

DP, gets very annoyed and moans coz he thinks she should stay in her own bed, but i dont have a problem with it at all, i love having cuddles with her, which does cause problems between us, but he has plenty of space in the bed, so i dont know why he moans....

One problem we do have though is that Leah drinks so much juice through the night that sometimes her nappy leaks, so i have a wet bed, i have tries taking her juice off her, and not letting her have any, but she cries and cries asking for juice, she only wears a nappy at night time, dry through the day, but i would like to start trying to get her dry through the night, but feel that because she has so much juice, she will constantly need the loo.....any advice??

[kathyhinsh]

:Hello2:
The only time was when I was in having ds, & dd & ss slept with dh....ONCE........thank god! They're all arms & legs, apparantly!
:babydust3

[mariesmummy]

Angel

Just a thought , but have you tried giving her either a biscuit or a milky drink to 'fill her up', it might stop her from want as much juice - or just putting a little in her cup IYSWIM.

[angeleyes]

yeah, she has toast before bed, she normally has juice, so will definatly try a milky drink, thankyou Mariesmummy :happy72:

[EveryRose]

I kind of co-sleep with DD. She's 8mths old and breastfeeding so if she wakes in the night I usually put her into bed with me and nurse and we fall asleep together. Lately though she keeps rolling onto DP's side so I put her back in her cot but she doesn't stay there long LOL

[mariesmummy]

Rose

Is that because your DP doesn't like her there, or does he wriggle and wake her up?

My Dh wakes DD2 up if he sleeps with us, but DD1 doesn't, even though she wriggles alot too. :wacko:

[EveryRose]

Rose

Is that because your DP doesn't like her there, or does he wriggle and wake her up?

Quite the opposite actually...she kicks DP in the back and ends up squashing him against the wall (his side is against the wall) cos she spreads herself out like a starfish LOL

No matter how many times I move her closer to me she'll still roll back over on DP's side:laugh:

[mariesmummy]

my DD2 can be abit like that - but then again the dog used to sleep with us BC (before children) and he was like that too :laugh: