help on co-sleeping

[wokkies]

help please, dont think I will be sleeping tonight, thirs child ds is 18months old and has always cried to come in our bed bout 4am in the mornin then he goes back to sleep till about 7.30 am, anyway last night all was well till 4 in the morning when we put ds in our bed cos he was screaming to come in, put him in our bed and he cuddled up and put my arm out towards dh so he didnt turn in his sleep and disturb ds, anyway an hour l8a dh sits up and sez, I cant hear him breathing, and it didnt seem like he was breathing and he was stone cold, after picking him up and gently shaking him he gave a sigh and started breathing again, dh says I had my arm across his face and thinks i was stopping him breathing him properly, so he woke up quick and made sure he was ok, but he is fine now, but next prob, I cant have him in our bed if this is going to happen, how can I keep him happy asleep in his cot, bin upset all day about this:hissyfit: hubby says its my fault for encouraging him into our bed, but he is our third child and the only one that has spent most of his nights in our bed with no probs, please help, any advice welcome or critisism, (spelt wrong)

[Ravenfire]

How about putting an item of your clothing in the cot with your son, something that is familiar to him and on which he can smell your scent, as this will probably help him to feel a little more secure in his own bed.

I would try a small nightlight on nearby so its not too dark and when he wakes going into him, settle him down and then go out although dont talk, and keep calm, and gradually increase it a bit at a time so that its a bit longer before you go in the next time. Its possible you may have to do this for quite a while and could take a couple of nights to work but eventually he should be used to being back in his cot.

Try not to fret, I doubt that you actually cut off his breathing, he would have woken himself at some point if that was the case and its surprising how quickly childrens temperatures do drop overnight.

Good luck and hope that whatever you try works

Toni

[wokkies]

aww thanks toni, but still dont want to put him to bed and he is ready for bed, he doesent seem to have any ill effects from early morning so i wonder if it was just dh panicking too much, but I just darnt have him in out bed 2nite, cant even type properly at the minute, tears in my eyes as i speak thinking of early this morn, we have tried putting our clothes in his cot, dh sez we willput his tweenies on the comp in our bedroom when he wakes up in the morning, probably 4am, would prefer that to waking up to him stone cold

[wokkies]

but still means we will be up from 4am at least

[wokkies]

sorry for typing so much but dont no wot to do when he goes to bed, sorry, but it is just upsetting me the way he was so cold and not breathing this morning

[wokkies]

still stressing with tears in my eyes, off to take him for a bath then he is off for a bath, then bed, but it is the middle of the night i am worried about., when he wants to come in our bed, will turn the pc on in our bedroon, wud rather he is awake from 4am then not breathing

[Ravenfire]

I can understand that. I think you need to expect a couple of bad nights sleep whilst he gets used to his new routine. Try a nice bedtime routine of bath, warm milk and story maybe.

Good luck!

[wokkies]

ps., sorry for typing so much but am ded stressed, maybe its pnt, i dont no, but he's not comming in bed with me and dh anymore even if I doint get any sleep anymore

[wokkies]

aw thanks again, tried all that though, thats y he comes in our bed, but not any more, off to put him in bath now , back l8a

[trogette]

wokkies what a hard situation :( How did you get on on Saturday and yesterday? It's actually really unlikely that you stopped him breathing with your arm (unless you have very fleshy arms!!) because of the shape of the nose, you how when you're breastfeeding they don't suffocate because there's space at the side, and usually people *struggle* when they're being suffocated, he'd've moved and you'd know. Perhaps it was sleep apnoea? Does he have a history of that? If it was that, it's a good job he was in your bed because you noticed in time to do something about it.

I'm trying to think what you could do to help him stay asleep in his own bed if you're still unhappy about bed-sharing with him now. Could he have a mattress on the floor in your room so that he can be close but not in the same space?

[Sarah]

Wokkies I used controlled crying when we were having trouble getting Isobel to settle in her cot, she was probably around the same age as your son. It worked brilliantly and only took a couple of nights until she settled completely. Let me know if you'd like the details. I can understand you being worried after what happened. All four of my children slept much better when they went into their own room.

[wokkies]

aww thanks snow fairy, I do now the controlled crying method but as we only have a three bedroom house and 2 older kids he is still in our room in his cot and ds is getting ready for his exams, with the other 2 they were perfect at sleeping at night thomas still has a bottle in the middle of the night and can wake up a few more times in the night for cuddles in our bed, last night he just woke up once had his bottle, came in our bed for quick cuddles and fell asleep(but I managed to stay awake)then i put him back in his cot and he stayed there till 7am this morning, so we are getting there i think:crossfing

[Sarah]

Hey well done you! :)

[trogette]

How are things now wokkies?

[wokkies]

getting better thanks, only seems to wake up once a night for a bottle and have put some board books and safe toys in his cot so when he wakes up he cal look at a book or play with a toy, seems to be working but he hasnt had a nap 2day and usually he wakes up more if he hasnt had a nap or falls asleep at t-time eating his tea, only let him in our bed if I can be wide awake.