Help needed with night time

[Bear]

Ok, firstly hug apologies as I rarely post here now, I just never seem to have the time although I do pop in regularly and have a read.

I seem to have fallen into AP, not necessarily through choice either.

Evie now sleeps in bed with me at night. She usually goes to bed around 8ish by the time she's had a BF and she used to stay in her crib until I went to bed at about 11ish when it would usually wake her up, just me being in the same room. So I'd then take her into bed and she would BF on and off through the night, mostly without me even being aware she was feeding. (Basically, she was using me as a dummy). I quite like her sleeping with me though.

Now, she barely goes down on her own for an hour before waking at 9ish and wanting to bf and I can sometimes get her back in her cot for a bit longer but it invariably ends in me going to bed and taking her in with me. Last night, I had to get dh in to have her whilst I got ready for bed and she just goes absolutley mental with him and doesn't calm down until I take her. She's fine with him during the day, it's just night.

DH is getting really angry with me as he wants to get tough with her but I just can't do it. I'm more than happy to have in bed with me at night but I know she can't carry on feeding on and off throughout the night like she does now. I don't know how to stop her doing that though (she only bf's at bedtime and through the night). But, I do want my evenings back.

I don't know what to do. Evie doesn't have her own room - we are waiting for work to start on an extension but it will be Christmas at the earliest before it's completed. I can't leave her to cry in her cot when I'm lying just a foot away from her and I don't want to have her cry. DH says I'm spoiling her and I am softer with her than with my other two but I can't help it. God, I'm crying as I type this because I feel he is asking me to stop doing what feels, to me, the natural thing to do - she needs me. I have always been the only one to deal with her in the night - I know I bf but he never even used to wake up and see if I wanted him to wind her so is it any wonder she is so clingy to me in the night?

Please give me some help/advise/reassurance - anything please.

[Tess]

omg i could have wriiten that myself, Amy went into her own bed at around 1 year old, and she still gets into my in the middle of the night, my dh was the same but in the end it was that or no one gets any sleep.
i am much softer with her than the other 2, shes my baby. She still b/f at night and occassionaly in the day
On the odd night when i just really don't want to feed her i just lie on my belly and she will cry for about 5 mins then go to sleep.

[Bear]

Thanks Whassat, I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I know that she should sleep on her own - my other two did and my life was much easier for it bt she's my last and we have an incredibly close bond and she just wants to be near me.

I get angry with dh as I can't help thinking that a) if he'd helped out more at night then she'd be happier to go with him and b) if he'd helped out more at night then I wouldn't have got into the habit of taking her into bed with me.

Evie actually used to sleep through the night at 8weeks! Only lasted about a month though and then she'd wake up more and more and I was just so knackered that I ended up taking her in with me.

How do I break the habit of her feeding though? I think it was watching Supernanny last week where there was a 3 year old feeding in the night and her mum sleeping in with her that made me think - crikey, that could be me!

At the moment, there is no way I could go out for the evening even as she wakes and goes mental without me, what do I do?

[Boom]

I have no advice hun, DS1 was in our bed for the best part of 3 years.

But I have lots of sympathy for you, I can see how torn you are and that you're trying to do the best thing for all of you

Huge hugs

[smirnoff]

aw you sound so sad.. I have no advice whatsoever to offer, just wanted to send you some hugs!

[Tess]

sounds awful but i put plasters on my nipples for ds, and for Amy but she would claw at them and rip them off. ive been know to put bovril or lemon juice on my nipples now :hysterica (bovril stinks and is messy but she won't come near me)

[Bear]

Sorry guys, only just seen your replies.

Still at a loss as to what to do, still at loggerheads with DH but then, that's nothing new.

And Whassat - you always manage to make me laugh, pmsl at Bovril and lemon juice, imagine if something awful happened and you ended up in A&E and had to explain that the Bovril on your nipples wasn't because of your DH's strange fetish...

[jmsze5]

i still co sleep with my youngest 2 but with regard to the nightfeeding could you maybe wear a sleep bra,i found it helped deter them when they tried to help themselves to a night feed
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