Dh and Work

[Seren]

I'm trying to be understanding, but I feel a bit miffed with Dh at present. He has taken on more responsibility at work (no extra money) as someone has left.
Since then he has been home later than he usual. The reason I miffed is well firstly he is not getting extra money, but more importantly he doesn't give me any warning of when he might be home, so I have to do the cooking and getting children to bed all by myself now. I'm fed up because he doesn't help out as much now and doesn't even wash a cup up all because he works. I know I've been spoilt cos he could help out more before all this happened, it was naive of me to expect nothing would change I know this, but even on the weekend I don't get any respite.

Sorry for the ramble, just finding it hard to cope at the mo esp as I am still bf Dd and I am so fed up with washing. I'm in the mood to throw the next cup I find that needs to be washed...


Probably just grumpy cos I have nothing to wear for my night out next week

Thanks for reading
Barbara

[Jen]

Being a Mum is a full time job, gawd we dont even get time off for being sick.
have you told your DH how yoy feel? maybe he has no idea, does he work weekends? if not maybe he could do the bedtime routine for yhou then.

when the kids are in bed during the evening make that time yours, run a nice bath, read a book or watch a good film....:bottomrev to the undone ironing or the washing up.

Make the most of your night out next week, what ever you wear you will look fab.
""cutey""b have some love to make you feel better.

[Azzi]

oh the days i have wanted to just calmly stand in my kitchen and drop every dirty plate on the floor ... but i worked out it would cause me more work though tempting

does everyones OH think that working exclude them from doing anything at home or is it just a unlucky few of us ?

[LisaPink]

My OH has his moments when he can be helpful, however these are very rare!! He's very lazy, just leaves all his stuff around, then has a go at me when he cant find anything, so I cant win!!

[trai]

My dh is a bit like yours Lisa, he does help sometimes but then he goes on about it as if he wants a medal or something if he makes a cup of tea. His worst fault is leaving stuff lying ariund though especially his clothes in the bedroom floor. I think sometimes he creates more work than the kids.

[kat]

oh the days i have wanted to just calmly stand in my kitchen and drop every dirty plate on the floor ... but i worked out it would cause me more work though tempting

does everyones OH think that working exclude them from doing anything at home or is it just a unlucky few of us ?


Oh a big yes to that.......according to DP he goes to work so shouldnt have to do the things that i do..whereas if i went out to work he would do everything that i do on a daily basis (yea right!!)

Unlike me though he has day's off and everyone know's that a mother's work never ends.2006argh

[LisaPink]

Why is it that some men (ok, most men) think that because they work all day, they should be allowed to relax when they get home? When do we get to relax?? We've still got to do dinner, clean up, deal with the kids etc......!!

[Katiequiggle]

Well My husband has always been like that, apart from not knowing what time he will be home which is usually about the same time depending on what contracts hes working on. My husband hasn't made a cup of tea or done anything apart from walk down the road to get 1 takeaway the whole time I've been layed up with a sprained ankle, I've made dinner and cups of tea and sorted the kids out and even changed dd's bed when she wet it last night. In fact, my waters broke when I was expecting my first baby at 8am on the 29th of Dec when I was up making breakfast and he was in bed as he was on holiday from work.

Glad to know I'm not on my own then. lol

Kate

[Azzi]

Oh a big yes to that.......according to DP he goes to work so shouldnt have to do the things that i do..whereas if i went out to work he would do everything that i do on a daily basis (yea right!!)

Unlike me though he has day's off and everyone know's that a mother's work never ends.2006argh


Oh i once had two jobs cooking in a busy pub at lunchtime, then a shop till 7 then back to the pub for evening meals and he never changed , he was only working 30 hrs then as well half the time would still be in bed most the time when i got back from my lunch time shift :angry-smi

[Macaroni]

I dont blame you for feeling miffed Barbara !

Your DH needs to speak to his boss about getting a pay rise for the extra responsibility and longer hours hes having to work, its not on they expect him to do it for the same money.

As for your needs they need to be taken seriously. You were in a routine before sharing ( ish??!) the evening chores now you are left to do it all and double guess when he'll be home !

You need to sit down and talk to him, acknowledge he is under pressure at work but state that YOU are also under more pressure now and you need his support.

Try and compromise and say something like you need him to be home by X time on days A,B and C and you will have a meal ready for him, and the other days he will have to make his own meal as and when he gets in.

Good luck with it !

My ex was excellent at doing his share of the chores before we had kids and we both worked full time ( him shifts), but after I became a SAHM that was it, he did zilch.

DH does bugger all in the home, oh no I got that wrong, he will wash the cars :rolleyes: and wash up after evening meal at the w/e, but thats it. He cant do DIY so doesnt earn brownie points that way either lol If I worked full time and he was a SAHD I know he wouldnt do everything


he hates/cant do ironing
his poor soft hands get sore if he washes up too muchcryingsmil
he doesnt seem to see bits on the carpet/dirt on the bedding , unless its the kids hes picking on :angry:


Ignore me Im premenstrual ROFLMAO !!