co-sleeping and sexual intimacy

[littlelisa]

OK, Jackson *touches* on this in Three in A Bed, and so does Liedloff in The Continuum COncept, but I have to admit, the way they talk about it is way too vague for me, so I'd really appreciate a bit of frankness on this!!

This is a question to those who've co-slept with their little ones from birth for the first couple of years. Erm, do you sneak off and have sex elsewhere? Does it just get much more infrequent? I mean, it's one thing when the baby's still quite small, but I don't really think having sex in the same room as a curious 3-year-old would work for me. (And given that my partner and I are neither particularly quiet or gentle about it, I can't help thinking it would scare them!!)

Any advice or experiences to share on this one?
L

[littlelisa]

Wow. 17 people have read this post, but no one has posted a reply... is this shyness or taboo, or is there *really* nothing to say ... ??

[Daffs]

I have no idea about replies, I've only just read this. I have not had any of my children in bed with me when they were small so I don't know. The mind boggles really and I think the readers are as curious as me, for want of a better phrase. I don't think I could personally get jiggy with a small child in the room.

[Ravenfire]

I read but didn't reply purely because I have never done the co-sleeping by choice. Only time DD is in with us is if she wakes in the night..lol.

[Emsickle]

I read and didn't reply cos we don't co-sleep and never have with any of our 4, so didn't have any advice.

Don't tend to get that intimate that often either, not if I can help it anyway :cheesy:

[TinaRychlik]

We haven't co-slept for that long but I would probably move into another room. It doesn't have to be the bed all the time anyway. I think 3 is a bit late for doing it secretly. They start to understand quickly...In the Netherlands they do sex-education from around 4 years so I wouldn't want to "show" what is going on there.:blusingan

[Tess]

i co sleep. and yes, it gets very infrequant, and often we have to sneak off. or bribe the kiddies to go and play somewhere so we can have a quickie

[Seren]

elsewhere or on a different part of the bed or different technique

[shazgh]

I have and still do co-sleep although she starts off in her own bed.
And considering we were very active pre-kids, the notion doesn't half leave you.
From my point of view I need to be in the mood (don't we all) but I can't relax for thinking that one of them might come through so I don't enjoy it. I could never do it in the same room the thought repulses me to be honest.
Best time in 4 years was when we went to a hotel and mum watched the kids, we had to go an pick Zara up that evening at 8pm and take her back to hotel with us, but we had a great afternoon:cheesy:

[kybirkin]

We don't cosleep although she was in with us a lot at the beginning however I would say if we did and managed to get the energy to get in the mood I would go to another room once LO asleep - might add a bit of spice you know the whole kitchen table thing of 9 1/2 weeks film?!

[jmsze5]

i co sleep,and when my partner did stay over or spent the day we would just do it elsewhere in the house

[littlelisa]

Thanks for the frank replies, all :-)

[Fudge Cake]

ok i read but didnt have time to reply as baby started to cry.

I co-slept with ds1 from 9weeks and have been from birth with ds2. I have never done anything with any of them in the room let alone in the same bed - to me that just isnt right!!!

[darkpixie]

I read yesterday and started a reply but couldn't finish as ds wanted feeding.
I'm afraid my answer probably won't be the one you want to hear, but it's the truth...
Hubbie and I haven't been intimate since the birth of our son 5 months ago. Yep, 5 months!!!!! This is due both to co-sleeping and my lack of sex-drive since he was born (erm, and during pregnancy if I'm really honest).
Rowan is with us 24/7 ~ we dont have the 'bath-feed-and-bed' routine that other people do, so any chance of a quickie while he's asleep in the evening is non-existant as he sleeps in our arms.
I'm hoping that the introduction of weaning at 6 months will alter his sleeping habits a bit so hubbie and I can at least have a little bit of time to ourselves again.
Sorry if this puts you off co-sleeping. I'm sure thare are many co-sleepers who have a very active sex-life, I'm just not one of them!!!

[Snorkmaiden]

Hi - This is my first post here, so apologies if I'm not following usual board etiquette...

Anyway, back to the question - we have 2 year old twins, and while we're not co-sleeping as such (they've never shared our bed for a whole night), they are still in their cot-beds in our room and often spend part of hte night in our bed...This is mainly cos we only have the one habitable bedroom at the moment. As soon as their room is cleared of junk, they'll be moved into there.

When we want a bit of amour, we normally take pillows and duvet downstairs. I keep saying to DH that I'm looking forward to rumpy in the comfort of our own bed, lol, but I really couldn't do it with our twins sleeping feet away from us.

[shazgh]

I read yesterday and started a reply but couldn't finish as ds wanted feeding.
I'm afraid my answer probably won't be the one you want to hear, but it's the truth...
Hubbie and I haven't been intimate since the birth of our son 5 months ago. Yep, 5 months!!!!! This is due both to co-sleeping and my lack of sex-drive since he was born (erm, and during pregnancy if I'm really honest).
Rowan is with us 24/7 ~ we dont have the 'bath-feed-and-bed' routine that other people do, so any chance of a quickie while he's asleep in the evening is non-existant as he sleeps in our arms.
I'm hoping that the introduction of weaning at 6 months will alter his sleeping habits a bit so hubbie and I can at least have a little bit of time to ourselves again.
Sorry if this puts you off co-sleeping. I'm sure thare are many co-sleepers who have a very active sex-life, I'm just not one of them!!!
I am with you on that, I am always amazed when I hear of people becoming pregnant and have a baby 6 months or less, I have even known some to come in for their 6 week post natal check and say they are pregnant. I never had the time to fit it in or the inclination to think of that

[littlelisa]

I know what you mean.. when I came into the UK, they took me to the health inspector at the airport because you have to get an x-ray if you're coming in on a long-term working visa from certain countries.... anyway, the woman next to me said she thinks she's pregnant. The inspector said, how many weeks, and the woman replied, I don't know, I just had a baby 6 weeks ago... I guess it also depends on the nature of the relationship. She was from Dubai, wearing headscarf etc and looking VERY conservative, so I'm guessing that in that situation, the husband could well be making his demands regardless of how she felt about it.

[Seren]

I know what you mean.. when I came into the UK, they took me to the health inspector at the airport because you have to get an x-ray if you're coming in on a long-term working visa from certain countries.... anyway, the woman next to me said she thinks she's pregnant. The inspector said, how many weeks, and the woman replied, I don't know, I just had a baby 6 weeks ago... I guess it also depends on the nature of the relationship. She was from Dubai, wearing headscarf etc and looking VERY conservative, so I'm guessing that in that situation, the husband could well be making his demands regardless of how she felt about it.

jawdown1234

is that possible?

[Girlzmum]

If she's having sex with her husband then it's possible! After K was born she wasn't 2 weeks when we resumed being intimate, although I was careful not to get pregnant. It just depends on how you feel.
I didn't co sleep with either of mine (and even when they're sick they don't sleep with us - they don't want to!) so I don't have an answer to that problem but it's always good to get things out of the bedroom, it's keeps the spark going!

[Justenuff]

our LO is only 5 months and we sometimes do it in the same room but usually it's elsewhere in the house - more because it helps me concentrate than anything else.

[Nics n Jeevan]

Me n dp have a very active sex life, however after having Jeevan we didn't do anything for about 2 months (because i was scared that my stitches hadn't healed fully)
We have had sex with Jeevan in the bedroom asleep(only when his asleep) but his cot is on the other side of the bedroom... but because we, well i can get quite loud we tend to do it down stairs more then in bed now...
Although when Jeevan first started walking, he woke from a nap(which he always used to have downstairs on the setee)n walked in on us(we were in a diffrent room)closedmouth1111:blusingan"Doh"

[saraveg]

We co slept from day one and wait until she was sound asleep and did "IT" quietly.She has never woken up - if she had we would obviously stop.Or else the kitchen floor,on the sofa, the list is endless- when she was asleep. I have to say its better than before we had her as we have to grab the opportunity when it arrives and be much more spontanious!!Hope this helps.New to this how do you get smileees?Hope I've done the rest right!

[Tess]

lol..go to go advanced. at the bottom of the box when you post a reply.you should be able to click on a smilie of your choice :D or if you click the yellow star (top right of go advanced) you can save some as your favourites :happy72: