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View Full Version : re, bullying, had to take ds1 to school..long sorry


*debbie*
16-01-2008, 11:40 AM
My ds1,14, stayed at his dads last night, which is a 5 min walk from me. He left his house for school bus, and ended up at mine...crying! Saying he was having hassle off his other friends now who have taken sides with this bully!
So i ended up taking him to school to get it sorted.

I was told i wouldnt be able to speak to anyone, as there were a few teachers off sick and they were very stretched. But i told them i am not moving until i speak to someone, so they told me to take a seat with ds1 in reception.
I evetually got to speak to somone, and he wrote Liams name on this form and the date...he then decided he had to go as he was taking 2 tutor groups this morning and didnt have time. So i told him there must be someone else cos i was going no where :fryingpan:

So he made a phone call and said he was taking Liam to see a student support assistant, who are there specifically for the kids to talk to with their problems, and she would advice liam, and also report back to his form tutor and others that need to know, to get things put in place to get it stopped.
So he took Liam off to see her, he was in tears, i was trying to stop my tears overflowing but they did. I told Liam if he wasnt happy with anything to get them to phone me and i would come back!

I then bumped into my dd's bf's mother, she is a secretary there. She dragged me into her office, and i sat and cried and told her what was going on. Her son and my dd were both bullied for there last 2 yrs at the school, thankfully they survived it and are now at college and thriving. So she said the times she has sat in her office and cried when her son had gone to her pouring his heart out. She was lovely and told me to tell Liam if he is ever worried or frightened at school that he can go to her! :kisshands:

I just hope this gets sorted. My son is such a quiet lad. I told him this morning, when your feeling angry and they are having a go at you..i said 'you know that voice you get in your head screaming at them to shut up and go away' i said well let it out of your mouth, you dont have to be nasty just say to them' please leave me alone, i dont want to know you go away' kind of thing. Ive told him it may just make them leave you alone too, if you can speak up and tell them what you think.
Littl sh1ts, why do humans have to be so horrible to each other, my son wouldnt hurt a fly :cloud9: :gly:
thanks for listening, had to get that out :gly:

duck_egg
16-01-2008, 11:48 AM
oh how awful hun, i'm dreading this with high school for my girls because kids can be so so cruel. i do hope something gets done though, seems as if your son's school weren't really too bothered, if there was a student support person available, why were you told there was nobody that could speak to you??? Let us know how things went hun xxx

Jacks Aunty
16-01-2008, 11:56 AM
Thats awful, but nice to know he has got somebody at the school he can go to if he needs to.
I think there should always be somebody available to talk to parents or pupils who have needs or problems.

*debbie*
16-01-2008, 01:07 PM
Ive just managed to get in touch with the school nurse, and she wants to see Liam on monday next week, and talk to him. She says if she thinks he needs any councelling or further help she will sort it out!
:kisshands:

shel
16-01-2008, 01:58 PM
right ex-school governer shel to the rescue andy mcnab styleeeee :D

call the school now and tell them that you want to see their anti-bullying policy (every school has one) and that you would like a copy sent home with your son today.

in there will be an outline of the procedures that the school has to follow in the case of a complaint of bullying, with time scales etc. Armed with that you can then take over the world...sorry getting carried away...you can then approach the school again tomorrow knowing what they have to do.

I would also put a letter in writing to both the head and the chair of governers (just address it chair of goveners if you don't know their name) stating that your son is being bullied, and that you have not been allowed to talk to a teacher or person of responsibility (head of year etc) regarding the issue.

If you put something in writing they have to respond to you. Ask them what they are going to do and when.

If you're still having problems just shout, I'll help any way I can :D

*debbie*
16-01-2008, 02:05 PM
wow thanks shel :kisshands: you should be a teacher never mind a govenor...you made me sit up and listen :cheesy: :kisshands:

shel
16-01-2008, 02:08 PM
no probs, my son was bullied last year and I remember how horrid it was.

*debbie*
16-01-2008, 02:13 PM
its terrible, i dont know how many times i have burst into tears today about it. I went through this with my dd at the same school, hers never got resolved really then she left and is now at college.
So because of how things were with dd i know what i am up against. luckily the teacher who was in charge of the anti bullying scheme, isnt anymore gd12, she was bloody useless.
DDs statements went missing, and messages were not passed on etc. They have an anti bullying council which is made up of pupils and teachers, and some of the pupils on this council were some of the schol bulllies :unsure:
I dont know if thats the same or not! I just cant wait for ds1 to get home so i know he is ok and to find out what happened with this student support person.
:kisshands:

Debbie32
16-01-2008, 02:33 PM
you poor son, I hope the school can get this behaviour to stop now, shel has come up with great advice

ruthie
16-01-2008, 04:31 PM
Ive just managed to get in touch with the school nurse, and she wants to see Liam on monday next week, and talk to him. She says if she thinks he needs any councelling or further help she will sort it out!
:kisshands:

This is what make me mad though its not your son who needs talking to and the help its the b bullies who need to be told stop or get out. It is not on that any child suffers bullying the school must have a policy that it has to follow. I could scream for you having gone through the same with my son, you go round in circles. In the end my son became school phobic and had to go to a special unit where although he was very happy and they did there best there to help build the childrens confidence up again he left with no qualifications, it had to close through lack of money althought the council kept open the unit for children who had been expelled!!!!

Don't let the school fob you off, if they don't sort it go to the school govenors and then Local Education authority.

*debbie*
16-01-2008, 07:12 PM
Just spoke to ds1, he is at his dads.
They have got the lad doing the bullying into the office and he admitted it all. So hopefully thats the end of it. Ds1 says he feels better now its all out etc. But what gets me is this lad has really got away with it by just apologising,no punishment at all. I think his parents should have been told, as i phoned his mam, and she said her son isnt a bully etc and he said he had nothing to do with what Liam was talking about!
Why should he get off so lightly?? after causing Liam such distress! :unsure:

ruthie
16-01-2008, 09:29 PM
Why should he get off so lightly?? after causing Liam such distress! :unsure:

He shouldn't, he should be punished that's the trouble nowadays there are no conquences to peoples actions. If I were you I would phone the school and ask what the lads punishment for causing such awful distress to your son is going to be?.

*debbie*
16-01-2008, 09:33 PM
He shouldn't, he should be punished that's the trouble nowadays there are no conquences to peoples actions. If I were you I would phone the school and ask what the lads punishment for causing such awful distress to your son is going to be?.

I was just thinking about doing that hun...so i will! :kisshands:

shel
17-01-2008, 04:35 PM
i agree, there has to be consequences and children have to learn that! If you get fobbed off on the phone put it in writing.