Not enough milk??

[Luna mama]

I'm just thinking out loud here and I know there are alot of people who really wanted to breastfeed but didn't work out for. I was just wondering what everyones views were on people who said I had to stop bfeeding as I didn't have enough milk. I had a friend who had a little boy and bfeed him for a few weeks (all the time for hours at a time) and he was clearly not thriving so was advised to give formula a go and when she expressed she could hardly get any milk out. But at the same time apparently only 2% of women cant bfeed but I hear so many people telling me. I cant help thinking if people were better supported and advised they would know that just cos a baby needs feeding after an hour (or less sometimes) doen't mean you haven't got enough milk or you not satifying them. Some babies need feeding all the time (like my little one) and also to get your milk supply up. And just because they are content for loads longer on formula doesn't mean it's better than your bm, it's just harder and longer to digest!

Sorry for the rant but am I being too judgemental but the term is just thrown around so much is it an excuse? Obviously there are huge problems with bf sometimes (I didn't get to feed my dd until she was 6 weeks old so I went through hell) but if you get the right support it's so much easier. Thoughts??

[smirnoff]

TBH I think this is something that everyone will disagree on.. its one of those subjects.
I know that i had a choice to make, either my children were bf or i took the medication i needed to be able to move around and to care for my children. I chose the later option.

I also know lots of mums on here who have had bad experiences. yes i think there should be more support but I also think that if someone isnt able to bf then being told that they really could have if they persisted isnt helping. most women feel guilty enough about not doing it tbh..

[marlis511]

i really couldnt breast feed due too not producing enough milk i kept going for 4 weeks with my son constantly attached too me for food i try expressing and out of both sides i was only get 2oz of milk and then it would stop i would have liked nothing more than too have been able too carry on .As soon as i put him on formula he had 2 5oz bottles and slept so much where as b4 he was sleeping for 10mins then feeding again

[Purplecat]

My Grandmother didn't produce any milk at all, during all 5 pregancys, so I know some women genuinley don't produce milk, but I think your right, the support isn't always there.

I ended up giving up with DD (my first) because she had gasrtric reflux and was sick alot. She ended up in hospital coz for the first 3 weeks the m/w kept telling me she was just a sicky baby, she lost almost a lb of weight, which she couldn't afford as she as only 6lb to start with.

No one in the hospital or at home advised me on how to mix her meds with BF, only advised on bottle feds, my milk ended up drying up because expressing just didn't stimulate as well as actully feeding her.

If this happens again, I now know how to manage, this is through a lot of thought from me, no help from outside.

In the area I have moved to there is a lot of help and a lot of BF groups, so I'm hoping to make it last longer this time.

[Luna mama]

'm glad people are writing back with experiences as I was not meaning to offend just get other pov. I know I can sometimes judge without knowing the full picture but as I said my friend couldn't do it and you could tell from her baby. She was so desperate to bf as well, it really took over and I don't think the docs understood. There maybe should be support for people who coudn't manage.

Smirnoff: I don't think anyone would disaggree with taking medication over bfeeding. One thing everyone can agree on is a happy healthy mum, a happy healthy baby.

One of the things I want to improve and grow as a person, and more importantly as a mother, is to accept other people and views. I feel that I tell myself I am a very free and open person but when it comes to parenting I seem to only think that ap is the right way to go. Does anyone else feel a bit one way with parenting? I don't mean to as I am normally a very loving and caring person.

[shazgh]

This is a very emotive subject and the question you are asking is only known to a mother.
Yes statistically only 2% of mothers without previous breast surgery etc are physically unable to breastfeed, but as a breastfeeding mum you will know it takes more than a physical act to successfully breastfeed.
Unfortunately now society puts demands on mothers, peer pressure, family pressure, other family members to consider, getting back to work etc. and it may not be so easy to sit round the clock and BF (and quite often in the early days thats what it takes)

Being aware of the demand and getting the right support from before birth is what is needed.

We only have to look at other cultures to see that BFing involves the whole family pulling together and mothers struggle without that support.

I agree that you cannot give up breastfeeding within a couple of days and blame it on no milk, as no-one has milk at that point, but only the mother knows whether they truly want to breastfeed or not, and whether they use that as an excuse or not is their decision and no-one can argue with that.

[Luna mama]

We only have to look at other cultures to see that BFing involves the whole family pulling together and mothers struggle without that support.


Completly agree. In one way we put pressure on to breastfeed but then expect women to do it all on there own without the communities help. And also, as mentioned, to go back to work!

I do know that it is very hard for some people to get going with bfeeding. I found it v.difficult.

[smirnoff]

tbh my parenting ideas have changed SO much as mine have come along. I dont think that there is a RIGHT way or a wrong way of parenting.. I do believe that bits from each parenting genre if you like has its place. I know that total ap is not for me.

[rogueslayer]

I recently had my third baby 8 weeks ago and was initally keen to give breastfeeding a go again. however after spending muost of my sons first 3 days feeding him and not be able to really spend any time with my other two children. i decided that the best thing for my whole family would be to switch to bottle feeding. certainly for me it ment that i could hand my son to his daddy get a good nights sleep and spend some quality non yawning/falling asleep time with my other two.

I agree that there should be a lot more support for women who choose to bf, but i also think that women who either choose not to bf or are unable to must not be made to feel like failures.

[smirnoff]

i also think that women who either choose not to bf or are unable to must not be made to feel like failures.

I couldnt agree more!

[shazgh]

'm glad people are writing back with experiences as I was not meaning to offend just get other pov. I know I can sometimes judge without knowing the full picture but as I said my friend couldn't do it and you could tell from her baby. She was so desperate to bf as well, it really took over and I don't think the docs understood. There maybe should be support for people who coudn't manage.

Smirnoff: I don't think anyone would disaggree with taking medication over bfeeding. One thing everyone can agree on is a happy healthy mum, a happy healthy baby.

One of the things I want to improve and grow as a person, and more importantly as a mother, is to accept other people and views. I feel that I tell myself I am a very free and open person but when it comes to parenting I seem to only think that ap is the right way to go. Does anyone else feel a bit one way with parenting? I don't mean to as I am normally a very loving and caring person.
I understand what you mean about thinking only one way is best, but everyone is different.
Thing is when you breastfeed and is gets better and eventually goes well, you have a completely different experience to bottle feeding. My first was bottlefed from 3 months I would not co-sleep so picked up put down, did use a sling from about 5 months, BUT I was influenced by what everyone else said and felt like it was a struggle and by reading into BFing slings homebirths etc, realised that maybe that would work better for my 2nd child AND it did, she is much more content and I do put alot of it down to AP.
I do disagree a bit with the statement happy mummy happy baby, the demands of BFing didn't particularly make me happy, it was a struggle, but I knew it was in my babies best interests. I would have been happier getting her to bed at 7 at night for a 6 hour stretch, then I could have recharged my batteries, but that wasn't to be.
I am happy with knowing I have given the best start in life to my babies, but i wasn't always smiling!

[Luna mama]

I would have been happier getting her to bed at 7 at night for a 6 hour stretch, then I could have recharged my batteries, but that wasn't to be.
I am happy with knowing I have given the best start in life to my babies, but i wasn't always smiling!

I know what you mean, I have been seriously sleep deprived recently! she wants boob every hour and a half through the night at the mo!!

[shazgh]

I hope she settles soon for you, unfortunately they always want to feed at night when prolactin levels are higher, shame they don't understand thats when we should be sleeping-lol

[saraveg]

I had to feed my daughter almost constantly for the first few months and when I wasnt feeding her I was expressing with a pump.At first getting 20ml was hard and every drip counted but it gradually built up I found expressing in the morning a lot more productive and warming the boobie first with a hot flannel or hand warmer really helped. My daughter lost weight in the first few weeks but gradually caught up and is thriving now at 2 1/2 she is 75th centile. So believe in your body and it really annoys me too that so many people think they cant breastfeed - if as many people believed this before there was formula then none of us would be here or at least a lot less of us.gd12

[Fudge Cake]

I think there is far too much pressure on mothers to breast feed, and i get sooooo annoyed when people go on and on about breast is best as breast is not always an option and feel that it makes those mothers unable to bf feel like a failure or less of a mother.

When i had ds1 i wanted to bf, but i had an interfering mil that was in my face so i got all emotional and said to dh take the baby and give a bottle, i was un-educated and thought that because i had given a bottle 1st i couldnt bf which wasnt the case, with ds2 i desperately wanted to bf, but after having a vbac and ending up in intensive care i had no option to bf - so for me i feel the option was taken away.

After seeing the hassle of some friends and family trying to bf im glad i chose to bottle feed, it is so much easier as you know exactly how much baby has taken, they are more regular so know pretty much when feeding times are, and i think its less pressure on the mother as dh can help to feed etc.

I do have to agree that i dont think there is enough support for people about bf

(apologises if i offend anyone or come across harsh!!)

[shazgh]

I think there is far too much pressure on mothers to breast feed, and i get sooooo annoyed when people go on and on about breast is best as breast is not always an option and feel that it makes those mothers unable to bf feel like a failure or less of a mother.

When i had ds1 i wanted to bf, but i had an interfering mil that was in my face so i got all emotional and said to dh take the baby and give a bottle, i was un-educated and thought that because i had given a bottle 1st i couldnt bf which wasnt the case, with ds2 i desperately wanted to bf, but after having a vbac and ending up in intensive care i had no option to bf - so for me i feel the option was taken away.

After seeing the hassle of some friends and family trying to bf im glad i chose to bottle feed, it is so much easier as you know exactly how much baby has taken, they are more regular so know pretty much when feeding times are, and i think its less pressure on the mother as dh can help to feed etc.

I do have to agree that i dont think there is enough support for people about bf

(apologises if i offend anyone or come across harsh!!)
I agree and it can be a very emotionally draining time and if you don't have the right support, very difficult.

As you touched on, yes it is best for baby and for mum, but it is harder on mum, as no=one else can feed and it is demanding.
Formula is seen as an easier option for mums but it isn't as good for babies.
Therefore we all need to make a choice and the problem is most people are making the choice to formula feed due to the convenience, and the argument is not about making those who physiaclly can't BF feel guilty, but to encourage the majority of mums to try.

[Emsickle]

I was in Asda not long after having Nathan and the girl on the checkout commented on how there was no way she was going to try breastfeeding as she thought it was gross and didn't like the thought of it. I told her that if I could have breastfed any of my boys I would have done and would highly recommend she gave it a go when she did eventually have children and not discount it like that.

That kind of attitude does annoy me as how can you feel feeding your own baby is disgusting - but down my way, there definitely aren't enough support networks for either those that wish to BF and are having problems, or even for those that have had to turn to bottle feeding because of other problems. I still feel guilty about Nathan and he's not far off 6 months old.

[TinaRychlik]

What a topic! I was lucky enought o bf both mine for at least 4 months and for some reason I thought I didn't have any milk left but had I just continued (it went really well until the 4th month) the supply would have gone up again. I enjoyed it tremendously and had I known then what I know now I would have bf for longer.
But yes, the social pressure is on which is good in one way because at least many women "give it go" whereas if there was no pressure at all they would possibly not bother. But then again, those new mums who decide not to bf or who physically cannot bf must feel guilty.
I personally think that we are going into the right direction: when breastfeeding was normal there was little discussion about it. It then became unfashionable and 80% of mums decided to bottlefeed. Now it is "unfashionable" to bottlefeed and the rest of us is made to feel like we are horrible mums. I think the extremes will balance out eventually so that both bottlefeeding and breastfeeding mums can enjoy what they do best: being a fantastic mum!
And, as everyone has said already, support is the key. We are biologically "programmed" to live and care in groups (i.e. family) because this increases the chances of survival (sorry for digging the roots out:rolleyes:). If close family and friends were around who'd have time and love to help, our lives would be much easier. But we know it is wishful thinking for many if not most of us. So let's get on with feeding our babies the way we feel is right for them and us!

[shazgh]

I still feel guilty at having to stop BFing DD1 at 12 weeks, the guilt is because we wanted to do something and it didn't work out, it is our own personal standards that we failed to meet, and no-one can alter that.
The difference is you tried and it wasn't successful, which is something that only time will help you accept.
I agree it is the attitude towards BFing that needs to change, but also the attitude to parenting as a whole, for me being a mother started from birth, but to some they give birth and are already talking about who is lined up to babysit and when they are going out (my jaw hits the floor when I hear stuff like that) so of course you can't BF if it means you are at your babies beck and call.
My family in particular think BFing is disgusting, after all they are sexual objects, and no even me BFing both mine hasn't changed their minds, I often wonder how they would have felt if I had boys, that would probably make them worse (sad but true)

[TinaRychlik]

PS: (Sorry for filling up the sites) RE: not enough milk: I do wonder how they found out that only 2% could physically not breastfeed. I personally think that the number is higher but nevertheless, breastfeeding is psychologically influenced so any stress etc will affect our milk production. There are natural ways to increase the production and the flow but again, support or people we know who successfully breastfed would greatly help anyone who wants to "give it a go".

[BebeCannelle]

Yep, natural doesn't mean easy. You really need support and help to bf. You also need rest to get enough milk.