Oh no!!!!!

[Girlzmum]

Sorry for this being so long, I just needed to get this off my chest so please don't worry about reading it.

I just got a phone call from dads gf, he fell downstairs last night and is in hospital. From what I can gather he stepped on one of his dogs tennis balls last night and fell down the stairs, the floor in the hallway (he's in a first floor flat) was concrete and he landed with hid full weight on his elbow. He's broken his elbow in 4 places, 2 of his ribs and has splayed the humerous (the bone from the shoulder to his elbow) from top to bottom.
I'm so torn, I hate being so far away but I can't just drop everything and go over, I checked and can't afford the flights. There really isn't anything I can do and I know his gf will look after him. Bizzarely enough my sister feels the same way, she was wanting to go over as well (her relationship with him is worse than mine) But what has annoyed me is that my mum told me off for wanting to go - basically told me he decided to move over there and he can't expect us to drop everything, if we do it now it'll be expected everytime. I know it's not life threatening but he is my dad, despite all the crap he has put us through.

[Lynne4]

Aww hope he gets better soon, certainly sounds like some nasty injuries. How far away from you is he?

[-Joy-]

Aw Colette thats awful the poor man.

Its like your stuck between a hard place and a rock here. u have to do what you think is best, and if you cant get over, then you cant. But if you want to and feel the need to , then you must ! No matter what anyone says ( even Mam)

Im sure your Dads gf will be just fine looking after him, but you need to do what you need to do, whether its convinient ( sorry for that word cant think of another one atm) or not
XX

[angelcake71]

awww :kisshands::kisshands: hope he gets better soon.....my mum still says things like that about my Dad too,tho they split up ages ago!! so I know how you feel hun!! as you say he is still your dad.....he is in good hands...keep in touch my phone..../emails... xx

[ruthie]

Ooo sounds nasty, what hospital is he in? To be honest though Collette I understand you wanting to see him but as he has his girlfriend I'm sure she will look after him and if its going to snow etc imagine the chaos over here as well!!

[Girlzmum]

awww :kisshands::kisshands: hope he gets better soon.....my mum still says things like that about my Dad too,tho they split up ages ago!! so I know how you feel hun!! as you say he is still your dad.....he is in good hands...keep in touch my phone..../emails... xx

They split up 10 years ago!

He lives in Bristol Joy. I know its not far but madam goes back to school on Friday, going without the girls isn't an option as dh and mum both have to work and we really can't afford it - we've just had Christmas and it's K's birthday in a fortnight (long story but her first birthday last year was awful)

[Girlzmum]

Ooo sounds nasty, what hospital is he in? To be honest though Collette I understand you wanting to see him but as he has his girlfriend I'm sure she will look after him and if its going to snow etc imagine the chaos over here as well!!

He's in Frenchay Hospital, he lives in Fishponds so it's not very far from home for him but his gf lives in Filton. I actually hadn't considered the weather Ruthie, thank you - I'd probably end up sitting in the airport with 2 very grumpy kids running round.

[ruthie]

He's in Frenchay Hospital, he lives in Fishponds so it's not very far from home for him but his gf lives in Filton. I actually hadn't considered the weather Ruthie, thank you - I'd probably end up sitting in the airport with 2 very grumpy kids running round.

Well his girlfriend is only 10 mins if that from the hospital isn't she so sure she will visit a lot. I'm sure he'll understand and wouldn't want you to spend money you haven't got.

[-Joy-]

Agree with Ruthie, this sounds awful but black is black, its not like threatening, hes not on his own, so hows about lots of calls, to him and his gf ( cos will be hard for her too) drawings from the kids and such ?
X

[ruthie]

Agree with Ruthie, this sounds awful but black is black, its not like threatening, hes not on his own, so hows about lots of calls, to him and his gf ( cos will be hard for her too) drawings from the kids and such ?
X

Don't phone whilst he's in hosptial it costs a blinking fortune on their phones!!!

[-Joy-]

Don't phone whilst he's in hosptial it costs a blinking fortune on their phones!!!

Yeah was in the papers how much that PatientLine is.. used it many a time over the years. cheaper to use a mobile.
Hope hes ok, guilt tho, gets to us doesnt it.
xx

[Katiequiggle]

Colette you can't be super woman and I'm sure your dad doens't expect you to race over. Like you say it isn't life theatening and I bet that homemade cards from the girls and a phone call from you will let him know that you are thinking of him.

Hope that helps not much is it.

Love Kate

[Girlzmum]

You lot are brilliant. Thank you all for making me feel better about all this. Guilt is a bloody horrible feeling and my relationship with my dad hasn't been a good one, yet I always feel that I need to please him and to gain his approval itms.
The funny thing is that when my granda is sick he makes such a huge deal about dropping everything and coming home and it drives me up the walls!

[smirnoff]

Chick, its SO expensive at this time of year. Your dad wouldnt want you to completely skint yourself.
the others are right, whilst you are feeling guilty, write him a letter, get the girls to do him some pictures, and pop it in the post...

Hugs for you hun..

[Icedodge58]

Lots ans Lots of Hugs for u Hun :kisshands::kisshands:""cutey""b

[curlywurly]

Hope your dad's feeling better soon - everyone else is right, there is nothing you would be able to do by going over there - just send him your best wishes (but not on the hospital phone:cheesy:)

:kisshands:

[pix4bu]

Colette, I do feel for you being in this situation. I always fear the worst may happen back home. I dread ever getting a call like that!

But you are miles away and he sounds like he is in good hands. Just get in touch by phone. I'm sure he will understand.

[Squishymama]

(((((HUGE HUGS))))) to you! I agree with what everyone else has said, and I am sure he would love homemade cards etc.
Hope your Dad gets better soon!

[Ravenfire]

:kisshands:

So sorry to hear about your dad and I hope he has a quick recovery.

As has been said, it's not life threatening, although I understand how you feel, I would be same if it was my dad.

At the end of the day it has to be said it's nothing to do with your mum anyway so I would just take what she says with a pinch of salt!

[Mary Poppins]

I hope that he gets better soon. You shouldn't feel guilty about not rushing down to his bedside but I know how you feel. You have your own family and priorities and I am sure a phone call, card or letter will let him know that you are thinking of him.

[Debbie32]

your poor dad, I hope he has a speedy recovery and bless you, your dad will understand

love to you:kisshands:

[Girlzmum]

He had his operation today but we're not sure how things went tbh. His gf spoke to his named nurse who said the op went fine, so she asked about the humerous and he didn't have a clue what she was talking about, said he didn't think it had been operated on, let her look at the notes he received and no mention of it so shesaid that she was under the impression that a specialist consultant had been brought in to do the op so he went off to check. Came back saying that it had been done but it wasn't mentioned in his handover or in anyones notes.
Not very happy - if B hadn't said about this then they wouldn't have been checking his wound for signs of any problems (he diabetic and already has vascular problems with his legs so I don't doubt there'll be some in his arms) Feel so useless and poor dh is getting it. Mum has been trying to find out what is going on but I'm not really telling her anything, still really p1ssed at her reaction last night (especially as she phoned my sister to tell her how unreasonable and ridiculous I'm being for looking at flights) I'm thinking about going over for a couple of days at the end of February because I have a week between placements.

[Jacks Aunty]

Hope the operation went well & your dad is on road to recovery soon XX

[sal1]

Aww Colette big hugs, Wishing your dad speedy recovery & lots of big hugs xx

[bikemad]

:kisshands:Aaawww hun-wishing your dad lots of positive vibes. Do you know what hospital he is in? I could drive over there when ive got rid of this stupid chest n cough etc if you like to see him n say hi.

[storm35]

Big hugs to your dad and to you aswell, hope he is ok.:kisshands::kisshands::kisshands::kisshands:

[smirnoff]

aw hunni.. hugest hugest hugest hugs...

[Trinity]

Thinking of you Colette, and don't beat yourself up about it. It's an old cliche but he is in the best place and he is being taken care off, it's probably best to wait until he is up and about on his feet again before you visit. He'd appreciate it much more!

Take care hun!

[Girlzmum]

He had a bad night, he's in a lot of pain and has developed a temperature. Very worried about him.

[Patti odoors]

:kisshands::kisshands: for you and your dad, sorry to hear he is having such a bad time.

[Daffs]

He had a bad night, he's in a lot of pain and has developed a temperature. Very worried about him.

Oh no, so sorry to hear that Colette. I hope he will be on the mend very soon ""cutey""b

[Sarah]

Awww sweetie couldn't read and not post. He's still your Dad even if he's not been a great Dad - of course you'd want to go and be there for him.
Sarah
""cutey""b:grphug:

[Catkin]

aw huge hugs Colette hunni. Hope he is better soon

x x x

[jimblies]

Broken elbow - VERY painful!! Hope he's better soon. Why not make some cards with the kids so he knows you're thinking about him?

[bikemad]

Broken elbow is nasty-J has had that twice. Sorry to hear he didnt have a good night hun.:grphug:

[Girlzmum]

I've just spoken to him, he got the patientline sorted out. So relieved to speak to him, he sounds much better but still very sore.

[Mrs L]

Hope he's better soon and a visit in Feb will give him something to look forward to whilst he's recovering.

[ruthie]

Glad speaking to him has put your mind at rest a bit, hope he's soon on the way to recovery.

[kate1]

:kisshands:

[Girlzmum]

Well, after being told to expect at least a week in hospital the nurses came to him this morning, asked what support was in place for him and said 'Sorry, we need the bed' and sent him home!

He has an appointment with his surgeon on Thursday to get the arm x rayed and to see if the op has been a success (they haven't even x rayed him yet!) I'm delighted for him that he's home, I know how stressful long term hospital stays are, but the rest of me is horrified - if the xray on Thursday shows the op hasn't worked he'll be back in hospital.

[bikemad]

Wtf thats disgusting!!!!!!! Need the bloody bed!!!!! Guess at least if he is home he has his home comforts itms.:kisshands:

[Girlzmum]

Well, I know he hasn't been sleeping very well in the hospital (there was an elderly lady who howled all night) so I am glad he's out to get some rest but I really think he should still be in the hospital itms.

[Jen]

Glad he is home, I think you make a better recovery when in your own surroundings.

Hugs to you hun, I can understand why you want to go and see him, at the end of the day he is your Dad.

[Girlzmum]

Well, have pretty much decided to go over the week between placements - his gf's family have been brilliant and running round after him and I don't want them to think I don't care about dad or appreciate what they've done itms. I know I'm very lucky to have a very good relationship with his gf (they've been together for about 10 years) but when I rang her yesterday she seemed so ****** off and stressed which is really unlike her, I think she's been getting calls from everyone because the hospital haven't been answering the phones (I was trying from Friday til yesterday and they didn't answer once) and his patient line didn't connect so it was a waste of time organising it for him. She deserves a huge thank you.

[bikemad]

Well, I know he hasn't been sleeping very well in the hospital (there was an elderly lady who howled all night) so I am glad he's out to get some rest but I really think he should still be in the hospital itms.

I know exactly what you mean-im shocked he has been sent home tbh.:kisshands:

[Patti odoors]

Its good to hear that he is being looked after at home, a weight off your mind knowing that he is being taken care of until you can visit. As you say beiing home is good in some respects but I can also see your concerns about it being too soon. It is disgusting that this is happening in hospitals all over the country though.

[kybirkin]

Well, have pretty much decided to go over the week between placements - his gf's family have been brilliant and running round after him and I don't want them to think I don't care about dad or appreciate what they've done itms. I know I'm very lucky to have a very good relationship with his gf (they've been together for about 10 years) but when I rang her yesterday she seemed so ****** off and stressed which is really unlike her, I think she's been getting calls from everyone because the hospital haven't been answering the phones (I was trying from Friday til yesterday and they didn't answer once) and his patient line didn't connect so it was a waste of time organising it for him. She deserves a huge thank you.

If you can afford to why not send his GF some flowers to say "thank you for everything you are doing for my Dad" type thing? She would probably really appreciate the thought!

And your Dad will hopefully have a speedier recovery at home, try contacting his GP and getting the practice nurse to pay a home visit to check his wounds etc they may also be able to provide some home care for things like washing and dressing - you don't have to be old for these things. The other thing would be to ask them if they can get an occupational therapy home assessment to provide him with additional support eg a hand rail in bathroom or a grabber to reach down and get things so he doesn't overbalance while his arm is out of action. All should be provided on NHS.

[Girlzmum]

If you can afford to why not send his GF some flowers to say "thank you for everything you are doing for my Dad" type thing? She would probably really appreciate the thought!


I'm going to do that - she has been brilliant and my dad is HARD work!

[Catkin]

huge hugs to you and your family Colette hunni

x x x