To buy a cot or not to buy a cot....

[Grapefruit]

Hi there...:wave2:

I'm new to Mumszone and am really happy to find a section on Attachment Parenting. I'm 15 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and although it's early days we're looking into 'some' of the aspects of Attachment Parenting - namely Co-Sleeping and Slings.

I was wondering whether to bother buying a cot or pram in the early days - any advice? I am really keen to try AP 100% and fear that the temptation of a cot or pram may make it too easy to give in. Although looking at everything I read it seems that APing is actually easier that cots and prams...

My thoughts are not to buy them and if, a couple of weeks into being a mum we realise we need them we could always pop to the shops!

What d'ya reckon?! Many thanks in advance for any advice you experts can give...!

[smirnoff]

I was a late comer to the world of slings, my advice would be to join something like slingmeet so you could try the different types of slings!

good luck1

[Fudge Cake]

Welcome to mz,

My bro and his g/friend have the same approach as you, my nephew is now 9mths old and they DO NOT have a cot or a pram (they would never ever ever dream of putting him in a pram).

I think if it is something you want to do ap then do and i wouldnt bother buying the cot or pram if you have no intensions on using them.

See me on the other hand have the pram, cot, and moses basket waiting!!

[baby-bean]

I think it's worth remembering that the shops don't close as soon as you have a baby!

I'd recommend reading 'Three in a Bed' by Deborah Jackson. I bought a cot first time round, but DD1 would NOT sleep in it so co-sleeping it was! Didn't bother to put it up for DD2.

[Grapefruit]

Thanks for your comments....I'm currently in the middle of reading 'Three in a Bed'! You're right BabyBean that the shops don't all shut down once babe arrives....that's a good way of putting it!! :happy72:

I guess I've never thought of myself as that 'alternative' but this just feels like the right thing to do... Almost feels like 'do I dare not buy a pram/cot'....it almost feels naughty!!

[Tess]

hi,
good luck with the pregnancy. my ds and dd2 never slept in a cot either. ds still comes into our bed and dd2, ive just started to put her in a cot, so yeah, if its what you want, don't worry about buying one just yet.
i would buy a buggy though...who else is going to carry your shopping :laugh:

[-Joy-]

I like that, " the shops dont shut when you have baby" .. very true!

Im a mother of 3 children, and they have all slept in my bed, but have all had a cot too - its whatever them and I have felt like ..that particular night.
I think sleeping with children is fab ! And I wouldnt ever knock it.. but all 3 of mine also have there own "spaces". And have always been ok one night to sleep in our bed, and as happy to sleep in there cots.

Go with your instinct hun, its usually a good guide
xx

[Seren]

if that is what you want then don't be forced by convention.

Dare to be different!

Slingmeet is fab full of advice, just think of all the fun you will have buying lots of different slings.

all the best with your pregnacy

:Hello2:

[stephelen]

Hi,
I have co-slept and baby carried all of my children from birth and have never needed a cot although I always found a pram handy indoors so I could lay them down if I wasn't ready for bed or if I wanted a bath and had no-one there to look after them, as I could use the carry cot and sit them next to me in the bathroom.
Just follow you instincts and you will be fine.:D

[rsbh]

My parents bought a cot when I was expecting DS1 and it was fantastic .................. for storing laundry in!! Didn't bother getting it out of the loft for DS2.

Three in a bed is a great book and just confirmed to me what I felt was right anyway.

[Luna mama]

don't have a cot or pram and it worked for us (and saved money)!

Another really good book is breastfeeding and natural child spacing by sheila kippley. Although its mainly about breastfeeding as a natural contraceptive (if done in the correct way) it covers so much on ap. A really good read about a real mums experiences with her 4 children.

I really wish you so much luck as the bonding experienced with ap is amazing x

[cadams]

hi

I have three children. We bought a cot for the first - and used it a little initially - after that she was mainly in bed with us. I always took her into the bed to breastfeed anyway - just because it was easier. When we had the second child we took the side off the cot and used it as an extension of the bed - and this has worked for the third as well. Sometimes it's just useful to have that bit of extra space that the cot gives - especially as the second child still visits in the night from time to time (so quite crowded!)My third child (now 19 months now moves himself from cot to bed and back again during the night as he feels like it. It has worked well for us.

As for slings I only really got into wraps and mei tais with the third child, but really enjoy using them. I still have a pushchair as well which I hardly used when he was little - but use more now that he's bigger (and heavier!) So I would say you don't need one to start with at all.

Hope this helps.

Catherine

[jmsze5]

that is also what i have done,taken the side off of the cot.i co sleep with my youngest 2.the littlest shares my bed and my son can either be in bed with me or in his cot as its secured to the side of my bed.i used slings,wraps and a mei tai,loved them all but i sometimes use a pram.my youngest 2 were only 15 month apart.it is a great way of parenting,i found as a single mum that the breast feeding and co sleeping made my life alot easier but it obviously doesn't work for everyone.

[brooklyn]

Remember to read the guidelines for safe co-sleeping (http://www.attachmentparenting.org/cosleepwork.shtml).

Buying a cot isn't necessarily incompatible with co-sleeping, the bedside cots are great! More room for everyone as well :D

[littlelisa]

Hiya
I'm in a similar position - also read "Three In A bed" a few months ago, and it totally resonated with me. I'm currently 26wks pregnant with our first child. So my partner and I are planning to co-sleep and to carry... though I've had the same feeling - kinda naughty and subversive about eschewing the mainstream approach! My mother is all in a tizz about it too: "What about when granny wants to take him for a walk?"

What I'm wondering is: what does it really mean to go fully AP? I've decided not to bother with a cot (don't have space for one of those either!!) or pram, but wondering: Is the idea really that the baby is literally carried or held 24/7 at first? Every website I look at is SOOO vague about this, and says "oh, you have to be flexible, feel it out, etc, etc"... I'm not asking for prescriptive advice here, but what are the practicalities of AP? What stephelen says makes sense to me.. there will be times I do need to put the baby down for a little while. A moses basket for occasional use? Or put him on a blanket or mat on the floor?

[littlelisa]

Oh, and - have to point out that while I though Three in A Bed made some really useful points, some of Jackson's reasoning is just not sound. I mean, yes, co-sleeping and AP has tons of advantages and I'm sold on it anyway, but - a bit like Jean Liedloff before her - she does sometimes over-romanticise "primitive" and demonise "modern". Still, that book definitely opened my mind to a style of parenting that makes LOADS of sense to me :-)

[shazgh]

I think it is important to have somewhere safe and comfortable to lay the baby for a while, like when they are asleep so you want to take a shower or go to the toilet, rather than lying them on the settee or the hard floor. I didn't have a moses basket but had a lie flat carseat (I can't stand the upright carseats)which was great for indoor use. I would say I practiced AP but not constantly 24/7 so having somewhere for them to sleep safely was important

[darkpixie]

I have both a pram and a cot. The cot has never been slept in although it is very useful for laying R in when I'm in the bathroom or doing some housework upstairs. We are taking one side off the cot soon to make it an extension of the bed (although whether he'll sleep in it remains to be seen, as he likes to be cuddled very closely when he's asleep)
I do use the buggy when we go out now, although for the first few months i only ever used the sling. The transition to buggy from sling was quite stressful, but he's happy in there now (I have a mummy-facing buggy so I can talk to him when we're walking).

[saraveg]

My advice would be to wait.We brought an expensive pram/pushchair that I knew we wouldnt use but were pressured by the grans and only the grans have ever used it!! Got through three types of sling though -the Bag type for tinies, then the strap on that goes both forward and back then a cloth toddler bag that was a shoulder strap with a waist belt with that held a pocket for babe to sit in.From php great as it folded down to nothing.As for a cot ours didnt get used for the first year as dd was in our bed after that we took the side off and had it next to our bed at the same height so dd could roll off boobie and into there.We all had our own space and still have it there for morning cuddles and nightime visits even though she is in her own bed (at her request) now.Hope this helps.

[kermit]

hello grapefruit, i'm new too! I co slept with babies 1,2 and 3 although they all had cots they spent at least half the night with dh and I in our bed. baby 4 was exclusively co slept with me in a double bed, I went back to bed with dh if I could be bothered... babies 5 and 6 were twins, and there was no way we were going to co sleep with them, as 4 was still in bed with us most nights. I enjoyed co sleeping, my children are all very 'adjusted' but then, so are my twins, who were exclusively cot slept from birth. (but the twins were not breastfed, and that would make the difference I think, demand breastfeeding is a whole lot easier when you co sleep!) best of luck!