Book recommendation!

[lajlaj]

I'm off on one again so feel free to ignore but I've been reading Positively Happy (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Positively-Happy-Cosmic-Ways-Change/dp/0091912989) by Noel Edmonds.

I really believe in these principles - not sure about the termonology "cosmic ways" but there is definately something in this and I have been living by these principles of self belief for many years.

I could harp on forever but I won't I just thought it would be good for some of you to read.

I've just ordered a few other books on this subject so if any are any good I'll let you know.

:hyper:

[funkydorydawn]

I've ordered one - as well as my In the Night Garden dvd :laugh:.

I'm very interested in this as I've realised in the recent few months that mental attitude counts for a hell of a lot!

dawn
xx

[lajlaj]

Do you know, I honestly believe that the right mental attitude is the only thing that counts - it is what drives you and shapes what you want from life (personally and professionally). I spend a lot of time on "brain training" because I think I was borne a naturally "half empty" sort of person but am now in possession of a very positive mental attitude and the book has made me realise that even when having down times with the right attitude good "luck" comes your way again (although I believe that to a certain extent your mental attitude creates your own luck).

I know that sounds conceited but the book explains it far better than I ever could but I think my positive mental attitude (outwardly anyway) is what has got me throught he trials and tribulations of the past year (and of course before that).

[babybiz]

I'm going to stick my neck out there and say I don't agree with the actual conclusion that being positive brings you good things/luck. I do however feel that those people who are positive are far more likely to be able to adapt to situations and to mould the negative things into a positive outcome by viewing them in a different way, or by learning from them thus having more experience not to make the mistake/fall into the trap again.

I don't believe in "luck" as such but just that everything works on odds so some people are just going to suffer pretty nasty odds of things going wrong. I do think though that you can make a big difference by learning from your experience and putting into place things that will help you though those bad moments.

Also some people just have that ability to bounce back and let bad things make them stronger. I don't know if you can learn that as such or whether perhaps we all have it in us we just need to learn how to release that part of our personality. When faced with losing something we love most people will really go through an awful lot to keep it.

I think that it's no coincidence that those people who have come out at a positive place often credit that to their "positive thinking" or positive mental attitude but I'm sceptical that when they were on rock bottom, with huge clouds over their heads that they would have said the same thing. I think many of these people wouldn't. I think that they sell themselves short by putting it down to positive thinking, I really think that it's much more complicated and harder than that and comes down to a determined and strong personality that simply refuses to give in and fights for what it wants - and thus turns a terrible situation into an opportunity even if that is just knowledge.

Wow that turned a bit philosophical didn't it lol. P.s I don't expect you to agree lol few people do until they get to know me well - I'm what you would call a very unlucky bugger (or as I believe just one of those who isn't quite making good odds) but I'm saving it all up for that one big roll of the dice you see ;) :cheesy:

Tashxx

[lajlaj]

Well I hit absolute rock bottom only about a month ago not that the vast majority of people knew it - I think the events of the last year hit me and they hit me really hard. I very nearly ended up divoricing my husband, one of my kids was having problems at school, we were having a nightmare over noisy yobs day and night outside the house, then they took the railings down and made the grassland to the side of our house open access and my hormones were up the creek and I could see no way out and felt very physically ill all the time - the only outward sign of my state of mind was the way I let some stupid woman goad me on another forum and took the bait. So I'm not saying people with a positive attitude don't get down, or have set backs or anything else.

I think though it is the "talk" you give yourself when at that low point. I knew I was in a pit but the difference is not staying in the pit and allowing yourself to wallow (well I did wallow for a bit but decided that wallowing was getting me nowhere other than more fed up and after a while the wallowing wasn't serving me anymore and I needed to change things).

I could have done the big woe is me drama in life, look how terrible things are, look what happened, none of it is my fault, I hate this, that and the other but if you recall I didn't or actually did very very little of it. I had it splashed all over the newspapers, I had my own sandwich boards outside all the newsagents, I had to face friends, family, colleagues. I still have people questioning me all the time on it all - someone did it this weekend that I'd not seen in a while - "oh no, how are you, I read it all in the newspaper", people would love to hear the "woe is me" story - how terrible life is, how "wronged" I'd been and so on but nobody but nobody but nobody has had that whole woe is me story.

I think the difference between my viewpoint and yours is that I attribute a lot down to my frame of mind.

A few years ago the business was turning around £12,500, my DH got made redundant again for the third time in 2 years and I was feeling really ill over it all because I knew there was no way my business could support the family but I also knew being made redunant three times in two years did not look good on someone's CV! I don't think I have ever hit such a low point in my life.

Then something happened!

I went to a free lifecoaching session put on by my local women in business and the coach made us focus on positive thinking. We did one exercise in particular that really "got to me" - we had to imagine what our life would be like in 5 years if we got our finger out, changed our attitude and made it happen and then we had to imagine ourselves in 5 years if we carried on doing things the same way. We had to write down both visions and I saw for myself how powerful that positive energy was to me.

That single session alone changed my life around. I was completely fired up, I did a lot of reading on PMA and that sort of thing and books written by successful business people in my "spare" time. Armed with the right attitude we managed to land Boots as a customer a month or so later and the rest is history.

I can't describe the changes to my life since I changed my mental attitudes. I'm not saying that I don't get down because I do (after all I am the cup half empty person deep down I always was). I couldn't stop the events of the last few months happening, no matter how hard I tried. However, for me it is the way I have dealt with these events that makes the difference and what you don't see on here is all the very humbling telephone calls and meetings I have had to make and sit through - now if I don't have a fabulous outlook and positivity then how can I instill it in others and give them the confidence to continue to work with us?

I don't think it is dumbing down successes (I'm not talking about me here) by people saying it is down to their mental attitude because their mental attitude is the ony thing when the chips are down that you are left with and it is how you deal with life's hand of cards that matters.

I'd love to say a lot more but won't because this is on the chat forum not private.

I'm also a firm believe in positive and negative energy fields as well - positive energy attracts positive results, negative energy attracts negative results but that is a whole different thread!!

(OK I know I've probably said too much).

[babybiz]

I think we are looking at the same thing in a different way. I think my interpretation of determination is your interpretation of positive thinking. You can't really have one without the other so we're really saying the same thing but in a different light.

What I disagree with is the thinking that if you think good thoughts good things will happen. This is something people are always saying to me and I find it such a cop out. You can't just sit on your arse smiling and the world will come to you, it's down to the individual to make that happen and it is a hell of a lot easier for some than others.

I suppose as always it's all about interpretation. For instance I expect things to go wrong with what I do and to be fair an extraordinary number of things (way beyond normal odds) do. BUT I guess that could be down to the fact when you expect things to go wrong you are looking for that so concentrate on the bad and likewise if you are someone who concentrates on the positive you're looking for it so things are likely to see more that way.

People are always telling me think possitive, don't be a pessimist all the time but the thing is I'm not a pessimist, I expect the worst and I expect to be able to deal with it, learn from it, adapt, grow and move on to bigger and better. I'd say that's pretty positive in my own way. It's the fact I expect it "can" happen, and accept the likelyhood that some of it "will" happen that allows me to prepare myself to deal with it and then when it does that fire inside me flares up and I think balls this isn't going to get me down.

So if ou see what I mean we are thinking alike just with a different take on it, you could say that I am a positive thinker and likewise I could interpret what you are saying as being determined and strong willed.

The big thing for any of this and what makes it pretty much the same is that it all comes down to a self belief and a way of moving forward in a positive way. Whether you call it positive thinking or personality traits the result is the same it's just I think we all need to find our own personal way of understanding it and applying it.

Tashxx

[Rubyiris]

I find this topic really interesting..I am going to grab a cuppa and come back later to have a good read...

[lajlaj]

Now you see Tash I agree with you but I also think that you can think too hard lol!

The best way I can describe it is through an analogy I heard once.

If you are driving very very quickly and ahead there is a sharp bend with a brick wall to one side of the bend and clear road as you go round the corner. If all you see is the brick wall you will be drawn towards it as that is where all your focus is. If you are mindful of a brick wall being there but focus on getting around the corner, the chances are you will instinctively follow where your thoughts are.

In my case, I could see that brick wall a few months ago and I know that despite my best efforts all I could see was the wall and no way around the corner. So I made a conscious decision to hit the wall to see what was through the other side - sometimes the impact won't bounce you back into further danger but will allow you to crash through it and out onto the other side.

Now in my case, there has been a fair few stumbling blocks once I crashed through the wall but my experience of hitting the wall has allowed me to steer around the stumbling block rather than allow them to build into another wall.

Life is full of brick walls but it is how you deal with the wall in your path that makes all the difference.

I do agree though it is two sides of a different coin we are talking about and the end results are probably the same just different ways of doing it.

[Rubyiris]

Still haven't got round to reading this thread god darn it! I'll be back this evening!!

Ax

[lajlaj]

Still haven't got round to reading this thread god darn it! I'll be back this evening!!

Ax

I'm not really surprised once Tash and I start at it, I'm surprised the thread isn't 15 pages long!

All good for the brain though - nice to see different perspectives.

(even if mine is the right perspective :tcwozerek )

[babybiz]

Now you see Tash I agree with you but I also think that you can think too hard lol!



lol I've been told that before but I've also told you before that's how my brain works. And to be honest it's done me far more good than harm so I'll not change that bit of me if you'll forgive me :cheesy:

We're like a reflection in the mirror me and you, the same and yet totally opposite. I reckon we'd have a blast (or kill one another ;) :tcwozerek) with a bottle of wine and a really good chat.

But yes we are on the same wavelength just seeing it from the other side but I just happen to be more logical :tcwozerek

Tashxx

[lajlaj]

But yes we are on the same wavelength just seeing it from the other side but I just happen to be more logical :tcwozerek

Tashxx

Now I won't argue with that! I'm very instinctive though so whilst you may be more logical and think things through, I'll already be there doing it, following my gut!

Saying that I do think things through sometimes but not to the depths you do - I have a cracking idea atm but I think I'm making DH very very nervous about it because I'm jumping up and down on the spot knowing it is an excellent idea and he is feeling very nervous because it involves a huge investment! So I'm allowing him to think of all the things that can go wrong whilst I think of all the things that can go right!