Need to calm down

[ruthie]

Putting this on here so that I can calm down and as dh is home today be able to talk to him. I'm mad cause sd is staying off of school again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was off on Monday because of period pains although fine to go on a school trip ori London on Tuesday now she is staying home today because of pain apparently 'its always worse the first day of her period', dh told her to take some tablets and go that she couldn't afford time off but she said 'its too painful I'm not going' so that was that. I told him she is telling him what is happening not the other way round, we were going to have a lie in and a cuddle together but I am so mad I had to get up, I knew she wouldn't go today she was building up to it last night with a few sighs and washed her uniform late and left it in the washing machine made dh take it up to her to put on the airer (I'm not allowed to touch her washing, put it on the line or radiators to dry!). The mad thing is she is going to stay on in the sixth form, what a joke.

[Bunny]

*hugs* Ruth, this sounds like one of my friends daughters, try not to get yourself too wound up about it (easier said than done)

[smirnoff]

OMG ruthie, as far as i can see you have every right to be fuming, i would be livid!!!
Sorry but if she was mine she would be sent off to school. One of my really close friends at school had such bad periods that she quite often passed out with them. She still came to school. I had really bad period pains (and still get them) but i still went. A few painkillers and off to school.

Time for him to wake up and smell the coffee i think!

She is taking the p and it has to be stopped. if her pains are that bad then make her go to the doctor.

[Bunny]

Suzi, I was the same, I'd go to school in agony and more than likely either be sick or pass out

[Bunny]

sorry if this sounds harsh Ruth, but your sd needs to wake up and welcome to the real world, she can't just "opt out" when the mood suits her.

[Ravenfire]

Ruthie I dont think its your SD that you just need to sort out its your DH. How dare your SD behave towards you the way she does and how dare your DH let her.

[smirnoff]

TBH i think she should go to the docs if she is in so much pain. I know that my friend was diagnosed with endometriosis (sorry about spelling) and that was what was causing the pain, afaik....

Why does your DH just let her get away with it? You will be getting a visit from education welfare soon about the amount of time she has had off.... cant see them buying into this one tbh...

He needs to grow a backbone and deal with this. He isnt helping her in later life and he isnt helping your relationship. Enough has to be enough..

Sorry if i sound harsh, but thats my opinion

[ruthie]

I agree with you all that's why I'm so mad!!!!!!!! Like I said to dh can I give up work then as I get bad period pains too, it is dh that needs sorting but I have done a marvelous job on him so far compared to what he use to be like with her. She has been to the doctors in the past and she has got tablets but I don't beleive she really gets the pains it was just one of the many excuses to not go to school, she never askes for asprin or anything or a hot water bottle and she is fine doing anything else apart from going to school the pains will mysteriously disappear over the weekend. At least I feel better now I have had a moan.

[Appalachia]

Just to add a bit of levity to this convo, when my children were younger I had a rule about claiming sickness. If you have a fever you can stay home, if you don't then you go to school. "I have a fever I swear check me..." they'd say. Ok, drop your pants and bend over, I only have a rectal thermometer. To that the reply would be, "ermm.... actualy I'm feeling much better now mom, I think I'm going to go to school." (Mothers know when thier 'lil ones are truely sick. So I never felt bad about it. :D )

In all seriousness though, I agree with Raven, best to work it out with your dh so you at least feel supported. If my dp allowed my ss to behave that way towards me I'd be sounding off the war drums. However, for the sake of brevity, I will say that my dd (17) treats me like I'm a peice of crap atm. I can't touch her things or even have a meaningful conversation with her. We set eachother aflame. Par for the course between mother and teen daughter from what I'm told.
Patience and time. :D

[blueberry]

Awww Ruthie, I've no advice but just lots of ""cutey""b

[essexgirl]

i think maybe take a step back and dont let it get to you as your dh dos'nt seem to mind her missing school so maybe if you let her get on with things dont let her see she getting to you and causing arguements with you and ur dh she will get bored as sounds to me she like the attention
must be so hard knowing what to do for the best:kisshands:

[ruthie]

i think maybe take a step back and dont let it get to you as your dh dos'nt seem to mind her missing school so maybe if you let her get on with things dont let her see she getting to you and causing arguements with you and ur dh she will get bored as sounds to me she like the attention
must be so hard knowing what to do for the best:kisshands:

I did think to myself what the point in me getting het up about it, she's his child if she leaves with no decent exam results that's up to her and if the school board get back on to him then he can sort it out of his own I've done my best. I'm not her mother and I have done my job and brought my children up so will advise him but try not to let it get to me.

[essexgirl]

I did think to myself what the point in me getting het up about it, she's his child if she leaves with no decent exam results that's up to her and if the school board get back on to him then he can sort it out of his own I've done my best. I'm not her mother and I have done my job and brought my children up so will advise him but try not to let it get to me.

thats exactly what i was thinking when i read your post but its easy said then done especially when you care witch just from reading ur posts i know you do but i think she playing with ur feelings she'll realise when she get older

[Lemon]

I did think to myself what the point in me getting het up about it, she's his child if she leaves with no decent exam results that's up to her and if the school board get back on to him then he can sort it out of his own I've done my best. I'm not her mother and I have done my job and brought my children up so will advise him but try not to let it get to me.

I can see what you mean, trouble is - it will probably still affect you. Whilst you and dh are together then she will be in your life and the more she is left to it now, the more of a pain in the arse she will be !!! What will she be some 20 year old something that doesn't want to get a job or can't get out of bed ? It so easy to want to just let dh take care of it Ruthie but I don't think this will help YOU in the long term either. Just my view. xxx

[ruthie]

I can see what you mean, trouble is - it will probably still affect you. Whilst you and dh are together then she will be in your life and the more she is left to it now, the more of a pain in the arse she will be !!! What will she be some 20 year old something that doesn't want to get a job or can't get out of bed ? It so easy to want to just let dh take care of it Ruthie but I don't think this will help YOU in the long term either. Just my view. xxx

Oh I don't mean let him deal with everything just the school issue, to be honest she is a lot better with most other things.

[chris]

Hi, just wondering if there is a reason why she doesn't want to go to school on certain days - are there lessons she doesn't like, people she doesn't get on with......or is it a case that she just can't be bothered and isn't interested in school.
I apologise for my opinions as I do not know you or the person involved but from the messages it seems periods are just an excuse for something else and she needs to sort out whatever it is.

[kel1ie]

just try to relax hun