Can you help......

[bikemad]

ok my sister has little Gruff n he is a week old.My sister n her oh have him in bed with them even tho he has the moses basket to sleep.When my ds was a baby I co slept on times not every night but if I was knackered n he wouldnt settle id put him in with me(my bed was up against the wall n id be on the other side itms)but it was a double bed n only myself in ti.

Anyways my sister n her oh have Gruff in with them n personally I see nothing wrong with it but my mother is haveing 40 fits and dieing happy over it and panicing that the baby will get squashed or suffocated. Does anyone have any info about it to calm my mum down?

Also they have a sling so whatever they do the baby is close to one of them almost all the time itms-he goes down when he is alseep unless my sister is sat down then she just holds him-again my mother is doing her nut saying my sister is makeing a rod for her own back-but I did exactly the same with ds n he is fine but she cant see that.

Anyways girls any help would be great thanx.:crossfing

[purple_82]

All you need to do is look up attachment parenting and find a few paragraphs on co sleeping, the myths it entails etc. I'm sure this will put your mum at ease.

Something like this
http://www.attachmentparenting.com/artbenefitscosleep.shtml

[storm]

My mum was the same when i said that i took oscar in with me, no advice though, sorry!

[Netty]

http://www.mumszone.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=24870

trogette posted this link to an article about using slings. I found it very interesting.

I bought a carrier to use with dd - but only used it a couple of times as it didn't feel "safe" somehow - and was also tricky to use to get her in it at toddlers when I had to get ds into the pushchair ....

I think the other types of sligs (opposed to the carriers) are great - wish I'd been informed about them when mine were little!

I also co-slept a lot with dd. With ds it tended to be for feeds and then back to the moses basket or cot.

[duck_egg]

i can see the panic over co sleeping as it has been known for a baby to get squashed at night but as for slings having read trogettes post i am all for them, it makes perfect sense. i would get her some literature to read on it and at the end of the day, it's up to your sis how she brings him up, maybe she could try the sling herself????

[trogette]

babies getting squished while co-sleeping really only happens when the mother's awareness is dulled by drugs of some kind, alcohol, prescription and OTC meds that affect sleep and illegal drugs included, (the recent hospital horror stories are due to inadequate monitoring of post-birth mothers because maternity units are understaffed and postnatal policies badly written, not because bedsharing is A Bad Thing iykwim) or the surface is particularly soft. Co-sleeping on sofas is a huge risk for infant death, whether due to SIDS or suffocation, there are several theories for this, including severe maternal exhaustion being the cause of sofa co-sleeping and making her less responsive, lack of other suitable sleeping space being a sign of poverty which is a known risk factor for infant death, and the fire-retardant chemicals affecting babies' breathing, as well as babies getting squished down the side of the cushions :(

And all this is to say that it's better to plan to co-sleep and do it with thoughts towards safety than to do it 'accidentally' through tiredness or drop the baby off your lap because you've nodded off...

sorry, /soapbox "Doh" :cheesy:

info for your mum... there's a great DK book called The Science of Parenting which goes into why it's better for babies to be close, but in a very accessible way, (it's a DK book for goodness sake, can't get much more 'mainstream' ;) ) with facts and figures to back it up. Also she's really just parrotting back the accepted wisdom of her time, so if you're feeling particularly empathetic you can maybe suggest that she's feeling anxious because this is new to her, and that she might be thinking it's going to cause problems because that's what she was told, and that maybe she's thinking about what she did when you were young and wondering whether she would have done it differently if she'd been supported to follow her instincts... which would lead most mothers to holding their babies as much as possible I suspect... and if she can get a word in edgewise there you might have an interesting conversation ;)

Good luck!

[bikemad]

Thank you so much peeps for all the info n links-im gonna have a proper read tomorow as just skimmed them today-I think it is cos of what she knew as the 'rules' when she had us kids tbh but as has been said its up to my sister how she brings up little Gruff so hopefully this info l help.Thanx again.:happy72:

[Seren]

I was told never to co-sleep or bed share with a baby for my first and I didn't, I was in a state of shock for the first year I think and bed shared when he was a toddler, he wold creep into bed with me and never woke me up

I co-slept a bit ds#2 and more so with Dd, I felt more comfortable about it by then

I loved co-sleeping it was easier to bf, I would agree with Trogette on arming yourslelf with knowledge and planning it, maybe changing the bed depending on how long you do it for etc

IMO more people co-sleep now and you will be surprised if you are honest to others IRL. No sleeping on the sofa

Good luck to your sis

[bikemad]

Thanx mamma b.

Well ive shown my mam the info n she is still pretty sceptical but has at least agreed to leave my sister be to do it her way and bring up Gruffydd as she sees fit so that is a good thing.:happy72: