naughty dh....

[anonymous]

sorry for the anon post but just covering my tracks!!!

very very very peed off with DH today...we had a massive row yesterday and i told him to leave because i was fed up with feeling angry and annoyed. no particular reason for this - just going through a bad patch. so he went off but came back that night and we sat down and talked about all the things which have been getting on our nerves.

one of them is the fact that he has got his mobile with him ALL the time and its on silent most of the time...i asked him if he was having an affair which he said he wasnt (and i beleive him) BUT when i asked him who the girls names were in his phone he said they were friends of friends that they all meet up with when they go out and i asked why he as their numbers and he said he didnt know really cux he never phones or texts them. he then told me there was this one girl who he had to tell stop texting him cuz she was coming on to him!

HELLO!!! DID HE NOT SEE FIT TO TELL ME THIS BEFORE!??!!! i am not a jelous possesive person by any means but he i was annoyed because if there was nithing going on and it was all innocent they why hadnt he told be before? now because he didnt tell me i am questioning why.

bah i hate men today.

:angry:

[TopKat]

He should of told you what was going on. I think he has been out of line, even if he hasn't been playing away.

You need to talk to him again and explain how you feel about this.

Good luck.

[anonymous]

I understand how you feel and im posting anon too,my DH is going away on a training course with a woman from work tomorrow and i feel very uncomfortable about it,but i will be accused of being paranoid if i say anything,it seems to me that men can do whatever they like but the minute we were to behave like them WW3 would start.

[TopKat]

I understand how you feel and im posting anon too,my DH is going away on a training course with a woman from work tomorrow and i feel very uncomfortable about it,but i will be accused of being paranoid if i say anything,it seems to me that men can do whatever they like but the minute we were to behave like them WW3 would start.

My dh would never do anything like that, he'd tell his work where to go...but I do agree men have a lot more freedom in many respects than women, especially women with kids do.

[smirnoff]

i would be confused and upset that he didnt feel fit to tell me...

[anonymous]

i would be confused and upset that he didnt feel fit to tell me...


thats exactly it! i feel that its a bit disrespectful of him and annoyed that he ASSUMED i would go off on one without giving me the benefit of the doubt. told him "imagine if it was the other way round" and he admitted that he wouldnt be very impressed. flippin hypocrite. (sp?) :fryingpan: (imagine its an axe rather than a frying pan)

[smirnoff]

i see that totally, id not be impressed. With me i am fine calm(ish) and reasonable (ish) if you tell me, but if there is what seems like a web of deception then i get angry adn very quickly......

but...... and dont shoot me....
does it really matter who's phone numbers he has on his phone? i wouldnt have a clue who marc has on his, and he wouldnt know or care whos numbers i had on mine.. we both generally carry our phones around with us.. i dont really see the issue in that one.. tbh....

with regard to this girl trying it on.... so what? he has pushed her away... isnt that whats important?????

[anonymous]

i see that totally, id not be impressed. With me i am fine calm(ish) and reasonable (ish) if you tell me, but if there is what seems like a web of deception then i get angry adn very quickly......

but...... and dont shoot me....
does it really matter who's phone numbers he has on his phone? i wouldnt have a clue who marc has on his, and he wouldnt know or care whos numbers i had on mine.. we both generally carry our phones around with us.. i dont really see the issue in that one.. tbh....

with regard to this girl trying it on.... so what? he has pushed her away... isnt that whats important?????

you are totally rite. i dont have a prob with the numbers on the phone...he has friends who are girls thats fine. hes a good looking man and so of course hes going to get female attention - and yes i am happy he pushed them away. its just the not telling me things that i dont like. there was a time where we told each other everything regardless of how we thought each other was going to react.

smirnoff you are lovely. will you be my friend? :yes:

[smirnoff]

anon of course i will be your friend....

and for what its worth i understand where you are coming from too....

[runragged]

I think, like you said, because he didn't tell you, it makes it look like he has something to hide.

Don't blame you for being angry, I would be too, hope you get it sorted.

[anonymous]

To me it doesnt sound right. Why would you have friends friends numbers in your phone especially when you dont message them. I wouldnt be happy about that either. I have nothing to hide on my phone and would have no problem my OH seeing it any time and the same for him.

[ruthie]

I don't why you would have friends of friends numbers in your phone, what would be the point? If he doesn't use them ask him to delete them if you feel uneasy with it. May be he didn't tell you that this women came on to him because he thought you would over react to it or worry about it.
Oh hell only thing to do is string him up by his ***** sorry not very impressed with men at the mo:D

[smirnoff]

I don't why you would have friends of friends numbers in your phone, what would be the point? If he doesn't use them ask him to delete them if you feel uneasy with it. May be he didn't tell you that this women came on to him because he thought you would over react to it or worry about it.
Oh hell only thing to do is string him up by his ***** sorry not very impressed with men at the mo:D

GO RUTHIE!!!!!
you should run for pm!!! you could certainly shake up the home office!!!

[weaselgirl]

I know where you are coming from.Why has he got these girls numbers if they are friends of friends? I have no problem with my dh having female friends and phone numbers that i know about, it's the ones that they dont tell you about that is the worrying part. I have male friends on my phone but i've always been open about it and dh knows them anyway.

I have to say i agree with Ruthie, get him to delete those numbers it's not as if he uses them does he.

[anonymous]

oh i asked him all that and he admitted that it sounded silly that he had these numbers in his phone...but im not gonna get him to delete them...because its the fact he didnt tell me, not that actual numbers....but god help him if i find out he as phoned/text them.

during our "discussion" we were talking about when he goes out with his mates and i know that he talks to girls when hes out same as i talk ot blokes - thats just because we are sociable people. i trust him on that level. bbut if we are being honest with each other (and i know that i am hiding under Anon but ykwim) there ARE women out there who get a kick out of going with a married man. htere are women who just like to rock the boat and dont realise what trail of devastation they leave behind, DH knows this and is aware and has always said that he is wary of women in that situation.

so there - i feel better now. thanks everyone!!! :yes:

[anonymous]

My dp has his fone on silent and always keeps it on him at all times. He will look through my fone all the time but wont let me near his.

Back when i was pregnant, (he wasnt happy about me being preg) he went away working, a few weeks after he came back he went up for a bath and left his fone downstairs and yes i went through it (yes i know i shouldnt of)

Went through the messages and there was a message from *Karl* the message asked him when he was coming down again and said a few other things and ended with cant wait to see you again x x x x x x

Now either *Karl* is a girl or dp is turning gay!!!

I was 5 months pregnant at the time and during the first 6 months of my pregnancy dp left me 7 times (because of me being preg)

When i tackled him about this after a massive row he said that she was 18, (dp was 38 at the time) and that he wasnt happy that she was texting him, she was working at the place where he worked, it was at dorset steam fair.

He said nothing went on, and i said why did you give her your no? he said i didnt his mate must of done it.

The couple of times he left me after dorset fair he went to stay with *this mate* near to where she was.

Said to him if he wants to be with me get rid of her no and tell her never to text again else it's over. Still to this day im unsure about it, he does have other girls numbers but they are mates which is fine by me, told him i want honesty, and if he'd told me about her then i wouldnt of took it so badly.

[Jen]

Please be careful not to jump to the wrong conclusion, I have a very good friend who did almost the same thing, it turned out totally innocent, just things she was seeing was greatly enhanced but her overactive imagination.
I think you really do need to tell your other half your fears, if it breaks out into WWIII then so be it, but believe me a nasty under current can be far more dangerous than a full blown row.
Hope all works out for you.

[vikki]

men, they can never get it right. He may have been quite gallant in that it was not big deal to him so didn't want it to worry you. But i think most women want to know straight away, its just that men don't see it that way.
Crikey life can be confusing xx

[Trinity]

I sometimes think that this electronic world that we live makes our lives more difficult - it's so much easier just to pop someone's number into your mobile phone and it's easy to get a text and have it misread. I text my brother often and have always ended in a kiss and sometimes we have a banter that could easily be read as something else.

It seems to me that he has got mixed up in something that he didn't really want to and just doesn't know who to back out of it but maybe now that you are aware, he'll be a bit more upfront.

Hope you get things sorted out and take care, you'll be feeling very emotional at the moment.