Just saying hello

[Lammy]

Hello... I've just found this board and thought I'd say hi!

I'm trying to AP raise my dd, who is almost 16 months. I didn't so much at first, as i was unsure about some of the more unusual ideas, but as my dd gets older, it seems to make more and more sense to me!

Anyway, juts thought I'd introduce myself!

LAMMY

[Netty]

Hi, good to see you here.

What sort of "ideas" are you trying?

[Ravenfire]

Hi Lammy. Sorry posted on your other thread to say hi. Well you have come to the right place as Mariesmummy is moderator of this section and she knows loads about attachment parenting.

[Lammy]

Well, we don't cosleep all the time, dd sleeps widthways, so neither hubby nor I get any sleep, but she does join us at the weekends, and every morning she joins us for booby juice. I plan to wean her when she decides. (she is now almost 16 months). We didn't sling, as she wasn't that keen, despite me buying three or four different ones! I think though I did have a few worries about how safe they all are. But I did refuse to leave her in a cot all day - great excuse for not doing any housework during the day whilst on mat leave... Whenever she was awake, I spent time playing with her, interacting and I carried her around an awful lot, and still do! (especially now she doesn't use a puschair much now - she walks, or likes to think she walks, but most of the time she is carried. We have got a sling, but as I said she never really liked it!

Touch has always been a big part of our relationship and she enjoys her daily massages, and has done since six weeks. She even asks for them now!

Other than that I try to be very responsive to her needs and I listen to what she is trying to tell me. She does babysign and it is so lovely now that she can ask me to play teaparties with her!

Bedtime, of course CC is a big no no, but instead she is usually cuddled to sleep (or very near it). generally, she doesn't wake at night, but if she does, she joins us in the big bed.

Generally, I am just being very child led, which I'm finding dead easy now that she signs - she tells me when she's ready for bed, when her teeth are hurting and she needs pain relief, when her nappy needs changing, everything... and I think I'm building a very close bond of trust with her. Sure I've probably forgotten loads, but that's it for now!!

What about everyone else?

[blueberry]

Wow Lammy!!! :o Seriously, I'm ashamed, very very ashamed of myself after reading your post. Ummm.. my DS has just turned 1 and I work full time, very long hours. And let's not start about my husband's working hours now.

I send my DS to daycare. Bedtime, I would just put him in his cot, read him bedtime prayers, kiss him goodnight, switch the lights off and I leave him to doze off. I rarely cuddle him to sleep. The same with naptime. He plays on his own 50% of the time when he's home, and the rest of the time I would play his toys for him :lol: and sometimes we would play rough and tumble on the mattress. (And where's the dad you would ask - well he sees his son once a week :lol: . Really, he comes home when we're both already asleep everyday, and we go out every morning while he is still in bed). DS does get extra attention on weekends though, and I can tell he really enjoys our company. His favorite time is playing with us on the bed. Well I guess my DS isn't anywhere as lucky as your DD. I wish I can stay home and spend more time with him though. Ooo I'm so ashamed now I'm going to hide in my shell :sign07: . And I feel guilty too, and sorry for my DS.

[mariesmummy]

Hi Lammy

:Hello2:

Nice to 'meet' you.
My DD is 25 months now and we cosleep, she still BF's, and I Used a sling from early on -and wraps and I also have most other baby carriers in my collection!

You may find that an ergo /patapum style carrier may help with your 'walking' DD.

We use(d?) baby signs - we went to sing and sign classes, which were bery helpful for getting DH on board - I stil sign when I talk to her, as it is a reflex, and she used signs when she wants to say important words - things like sorry she actually signs on the person (or dog lol) that she is apologising too!

We also used massage - and DD now helps by massaging daddy when I am rubbing his feet. She also rubs my back for me - which is nice as she has soft hands. I think that it helps that I masage daddy's back too, and she comes with me when I see the osteopath.

AS you can tell from the tocker, I am expecting number 2, and I am sure that the fact that I now know about AP will help in the first few weeks - I was getting all sorts of 'you can't do that' kind of advice when I was just trying to do what worked for DD and I.

I think that some of the family have come round to my way of thinking -DD sleeps much better at night than my CC'ed neices, and her speech is amazing - which rather goes against the 'are you sure that the signing isn't slowing her down theories that I had to put up with.

The only thing taht I am not sure of are bed times during the week; DD does like to be cuddled to sleep, and as DH works away from home, I am going to have to cuddle DD and the new baby. the good thing is that DD is ready to share 'her; boobies so she shouldn't get too jealous of the new little one on that front.

Ok, ramble over now

Lisa

PS Blueberry, don't feel guilty - it's a horses for courses thing - if you didn't work you wouldn't be where you are now. The thing isthat you respond to DS and allow him to tell you what he needs, rather than just deciding what is best, and making him do that when he doesn't want to/isn't ready to,

[pie]

Hi there, I'm an APer too. Self weaned my eldest, still going with my second who is 17 months. Co-sleep with both, baby carry, cloth nappies. Well you get the idea!

[mariesmummy]

Hi Pie

Can I ask how co sleeping with 2 worked when your youngest was Tiddly Widdly?

I know taht teh advice is to sleep between the 2, but didn't know whether you had anyother pearls of wisdom?

TIA

Lisa

[Lammy]

:sign07: Oh gosh, feel bad now... hope I didn't make anyone, feel bad! I didn't mean to, if anything, it was me feeling a little un AP for not doing the full time cosleeping thing, and not slinging!!!

I too am now back at work, and my DD is at nursery three mornings, and then with me, her daddy or her nanny the rest of the time... we all (well most of us!) have to work, its the world we live, and we shouldn't feel bad about it - at the end of the day, its what we do with our little ones, when we've got them that counts (and finding excellent childcare, when we're not with them, of course!)

Anyway, I'm rambling, but just wanted to say, I hope I didn't sound too uppity, I was trying to answer the question!

Okay I'll shut up now!

[pie]

Originally posted by mariesmummy@Feb 28 2005, 05:45 PM
Hi Pie

Can I ask how co sleeping with 2 worked when your youngest was Tiddly Widdly?

I know taht teh advice is to sleep between the 2, but didn't know whether you had anyother pearls of wisdom?

TIA

Lisa
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Well I still co-sleep with both (5 years and 17 months) - the eldest because we don't have room really, but I would still with the youngest regardless. I found it fine, I just slept inbetween them and DH on the otherside of one of the children. Brings a whole new meaning to family bed huh?

I wouldn't ever let them sleep next to each other especially when small as the roll around so much.

:)

[blueberry]

Originally posted by Lammy@Mar 1 2005, 02:31 AM
:sign07: Oh gosh, feel bad now... hope I didn't make anyone, feel bad! I didn't mean to, if anything, it was me feeling a little un AP for not doing the full time cosleeping thing, and not slinging!!!

I too am now back at work, and my DD is at nursery three mornings, and then with me, her daddy or her nanny the rest of the time... we all (well most of us!) have to work, its the world we live, and we shouldn't feel bad about it - at the end of the day, its what we do with our little ones, when we've got them that counts (and finding excellent childcare, when we're not with them, of course!)

Anyway, I'm rambling, but just wanted to say, I hope I didn't sound too uppity, I was trying to answer the question!

Okay I'll shut up now!
796203


Oh no Lammy, you were not being uppity at all. Actually you kind of opened my eyes to this attachment parenting thingy because I actually do not know much about it. I'm particularly interested about the signing part (not co-sleeping - you can't pay me to let my DS invade my bed! Not ever! :lol: ). My baby does not fancy any signing though - he's too lazy to wave goodbye! :lol: Like a typical (and uncultured :lol: ) baby he cries whenever he wants something, but luckily I've understood him so well so I normally know what every cry means. And he babbles a lot so I'm teaching him words (I'm teaching him English because I know at daycare they speak our mother tongue) so I hope he'll be able to speak soon. But I sure would like to try seriously signing if I ever were to have another baby though. Maybe you and Mariesmummy can help. Anyway, you just made me realise that I spend very little time touching my baby, so I'll probably start a massage thingy soon (and last night I cuddled him to sleep :lol: :lol: ).

Mariesmummy, thanks for the reassurance. Yeah, I'm not jumping onto the bandwagon just because I'm ashamed :lol: but rather I'm continuing whatever I'm doing, gradually improving as much as I can so that my DS will see more of me (don't know what to do about DH though).

[mariesmummy]

Hi Blueberry

Would DH respond to cuddles and signing? I doubt that you could fit him in a sling :D .

Just to let you know, if you know what DS is trying to communicate by crying, you are obviously listening to him and in tune with his feelings - and that is in itself very AP.

I always think of APing as being a kind of a la carte menu - you just choose and use the bits that work for you.

I love slings - but then I live in an area where the footpaths are so great and I take the dog out a lot so they are very practical for me - I also hate being in crowds and felt so much happier having DD that close to me while we were shopping, but that doesn't mean that I think that you can't be AP unless you use them IYSWIM.

Lisa

[blueberry]

Originally posted by mariesmummy@Mar 1 2005, 05:06 PM
Would DH respond to cuddles and signing?ÂÂ* I doubt that you could fit him in a sling :D .

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:o :lol: :P Very funny Lisa! PS: DH isn't home long enough for me to try signing or cuddling!

Are slings the kind of baby carrier which you wear like a bag? Ooo I thought of buying that as an alternative for when it's too crowded to use the stroller, but I guess we never got down to it and now DS is already on the verge of walking I don't think he'll like being tied so close to mommy or daddy.

Thanks for telling me I've been APing Lisa :lol: , I didn't even know I was doing it :lol: . All I know is that my DS prefers me over everyone else (he even prefers me over his dad) and his face always lights up when he sees me at the daycare door every evening, so I guess I'm doing it right.

xoxox

[mariesmummy]

yes blue berry - Though I wont be using that desription on my site! lol

Slings are the one abit like a sash or over the shoulder bag, and then there are wraps, podegi, Asian Baby carriers ...... I could go on and on!

Slings are the most common over here though - you should see some of the looks I got when DD was younger and I wore her in a wrap quite a lot.

Now that she is up and down I find the sling the easiest, but DH still prefers the ABC or a patapum .

At the moment I would be struggling without a sling, becuase I would either have to push a mostly empty pushchair everywhere, or try to carry DD without support, which is getting a bit hard.

[Aquila]

Originally posted by blueberry@Mar 1 2005, 10:17 AM
"now DS is already on the verge of walking I don't think he'll like being tied so close to mommy or daddy."

xoxox
796299


Just picking up on this comment as I was unable to sling Ferdy much when he was wee cos I had really nasty SPD before, and for a long time after, he was born. As a result I felt that his and my relationship was nowhere near the *same* as the one I had with Freya, but last summer after he had started walking at 13mths, but not enough to go places without the pushchair and having a tiredy girl who doesnt walk too far without running out of steam so also had a need for the pushchair, I got an Ergo sling and ended up with both of them totally loving it - Ferdy has become a much nicer child for having had the closeness we get with carrying him as and when the need arises, and as he is a very curious toddler it keeps him out of mischief when we go shopping. We even hired an extra sling for when we went on our hols last year and it was wonderful not taking the pushchair with us for once! Now when either feels tired or poorly they will ask to go in the sling for that extra special cuddle!
I wouldnt say I am an APer as such but do love my slings and wouldnt be without them for anything!
Sorry just wanted to say that! And I have only just found this place so better say hi to one and all too! lol!
Bex

[trogette]

*waves to bex and pie and lisa*

just saying hi and yeah and i must get some signing stuff sorted out this time, LOL