Breaking up with the Joneses

[Girlzmum]

Is anyone else watching this :smiley-fa I can't believe what he's just done - what a complete s**t.

[ruthie]

He had no understanding of what those little boys needed and that was their mum, what an absolute git he was, and what a horrible mother he had as well. Thank god she got them back. I guess at least he saw that he had been wrong in the end.

[Ravenfire]

What a prat that man was!

[Girlzmum]

Oh - I turned the air blue here! As soon as his mum was around you saw the crap those boys were going to have to put up with - as soon as she saw them it wasn't 'Hi boys', it was 'Your hair, your clothes, your manners......' I really couldn't believe how he was getting on - no maintenance or anything. How can any man do that to his kids?

[ruthie]

Oh - I turned the air blue here! As soon as his mum was around you saw the crap those boys were going to have to put up with - as soon as she saw them it wasn't 'Hi boys', it was 'Your hair, your clothes, your manners......' I really couldn't believe how he was getting on - no maintenance or anything. How can any man do that to his kids?

She was horrible, not a normal response from the boys either most little ones get really excited when they see there grannies, she seemed like a right bitch.
He could have really damaged those little ones if he had got to keep them, he was thinking only of himself and revenge.

[nicosmum]

Oh no I missed it, it was good then I take it? Would it be repeated?

[Donnalou]

To be honest I felt so sorry for those children, I dont think either parent is particularly responsible or mature.
I was lucky I supposed in the sense when I got divorced my husband didnt want to know about the children so they stayed with me, anyone else look at their partners/husbands and say please dont let us get like that?

[Trinity]

To be honest I felt so sorry for those children, I dont think either parent is particularly responsible or mature.
I was lucky I supposed in the sense when I got divorced my husband didnt want to know about the children so they stayed with me, anyone else look at their partners/husbands and say please dont let us get like that?

I would have to agree with you Donnalou, they were both as bad as each other. I felt the mother was in the wrong for moving the boys away in the first place and I think she done it just to get at her husband, but he was in the wrong for taking the boys, he should not have done it but he missed them too and I can understand why he done it. Although I was annoyed at him for not paying the maintenance, he can't expect to see the boys when he isn't paying for them.

I felt that the mother's attitude was shocking, her constant like digs like when he signed the letter Mrs.......I mean why get so bothered about that! I know lots of divorced, seperated women who still go by Mrs, in fact the whole Ms thing is just a farce!

She was stupid to allow herself to get pregnant by a 21 year old who disappeared as quick as he came on the scene. To me that was just careless!!

The guy's mother was not a very friendly person and it was noticed that she didn't hug the kids when they came into the taxi - I felt heart sorry for the boys when they said they were missing their mum, for all her faults she really did love those boys but then so did their dad and I was amazed at how well behaved and how well-turned they were, despite the trauma they were going through.. I am glad they sorted it out though and hope things are better for them.

And just to say where she is living is about a 5 minutes drive from where I live!! It was great seeing Edinburgh and trying to work out all the streets.

[Macaroni]

At first he seemed like a decent bloke, but in the end they were as bad as one another with both the grandmothers doing a lot of the stirring.

His attitude did remind me of my ex when we were in the thoes of divorce

[kitcat]

Hello all

As someone who knows Steve & Lynne's situation from the outset (I have known Steve all my life), have to say that the documentary wasnt a true representation of his version of events. It was a gross mis-representation of the facts.
Some of the facts left off were that as Lynne is on full benefits, any maintenance would not actually increase her income. He would NEVER jepoardise his kids by withholding money if he thought they needed it - her rent is paid for her, and its her lifestyle that means she has less money. Her benefits means she's actually on more than he is and he works and has to pay for everything, including all the travel (for her as well) and her old debts. She also left with all their possessions and money leaving him with nothing. She had financial support from her mother that first year which is not stated, in fact neither did they include the fact that her mother thought from the outset that the boys’ should have stayed with their father.

They also left off key behaviour she was displaying last year, which was alarming in the extreme, and he was justifiably concerned for the boys welfare.
Steve never agreed to them moving to Scotland - he was unaware she intended to until she removed them from school one day on the pretext of a doctor's appointment and disappeared with them. He didnt know where they were for weeks and was beside himself with worry.
I was there when they filmed Steve telling the boys they would have to go back to their mother after the court hearing and they both broke down and sobbed uncontrollably - this was deemed "too harrowing" by the programme makers and not included. Had it been, it would have put a different slant on the boys' opinions.

He also never snatched them - she asked him to have them early mid-term so of course he put them in school. They were emotional and physically damaged and he felt he couldn’t take them back to her if they were in danger and applied for custody formally. There are many reasons why they were returned to their mother, and none of them qualifying her as fit to look after them. The legal battle so many fathers have in this situation is a minefield and stacked against them. They needed to go through much of what happened in the last year as before he had little rights over what happened to the boys or how much contact was made – after their original ‘arrangement’ she disappeared and wouldn’t let him see them. They now have Shared Residency which at least means he has more choices over what happens to them now - but the distance means he doesnt get to see them very often.

They love both their parents obviously, but the nature of the marriage and how Lynne treated Steve over the years has resulted in all the bitterness. Although he didnt do what you think you've seen him do out of revenge on her - he's only ever been concerned for his children's well being. Its generally not accepted that men can suffer mental and physical abuse but let me tell you they can. Steve is much stronger now and back to his old self, although all this has had a profound affect on him. He is the most generous and kind person i have ever known, and this programme really didnt do him justice.
He agreed to do the documentary at first because he didn’t really think it would happen, but then partly it would aid contact with his kids – she was already withholding contact before the programme says she did. He also hoped to show how hard it is for fathers in his position, but that appears not to have worked for some people.

His family’s opinions of her were based on good reason. They could have 100 people saying the same things about her but that wouldn’t have achieved anything.

Thanks for your comments, but as i say, the programme did not tell the full story.

[Ravenfire]

I agree the program may not have shown the full story, however, have to say his attitude did nothing to help him. I thought he came across as very cocky on the program and also very rude.

As for returning them to their original school, that is something that should have been discussed between both parents and in a way to me it seemed pretty cruel as once again they would have to go through the seperation process when leaving their friends to go back with their mum. Very confusing for children of that age.

I appreciate that there may have been a lot we didnt see and also how difficult it must have been for him when she moved away with the children, I dont agree with that at all, an awful lot of upset for the children happened already without her taking them further from their father.

I also appreciate how difficult it is for the parent that doesnt have the custody of a child particularly if he is worried the mother isnt looking after the children properly. Unfortunately the law can be an ass sometimes and it takes an awful lot before the Courts will decide one parent is more suitable to look after the children than the other.

All that can be done for the boys now is the parents showing them that the children come first and any problems they have between them second.

[kitcat]

Well cocky and rude certainly isnt him - thats the power of editing....