Attachment Parenting Programme

[Lemon]

I just saw an advert for a programme on Channel 5 (I think) for next Monday at 9.00pm about Attachment Parenting. I know quite a few of you are interested in this and thought I would let you know before I forget !

[Linzi_26]

Ive seen this term used a lot and ive had a look at the forum on here too....but what actually is attachment parenting??? Can someone elxplain for me pleaseeeee.

[Seren]

phew...


thats a toughie

I think it is sort of " a commonsense way to nuture your baby/child" in essence throwing the book away and parenting from the heart...


Apers tend to breastfeed, babywear/carry, don't discipline, bed-share

I will look at the sears book I have, Trogette is usually the one for this

[Seren]

Ok sears say

"Attachment parenting is an approach to raising children rather than a strict set of rules"

AP is what most parents would do anyway if they had the confidence and support they needed to follow their own intuitions.

Gina Ford is not a AP guru, most APers don't like her methods or any baby trainers, they also shun controlled crying etc ( I think)

There are many shades of APers and not all breasyfeed or babywear.

I would not call myself an APer but I certainly am interesyed in the approach and use the bits that I feel comfortable with and that work with me and my children. Most Apers would also be SAHMs but not necessarily. Some also home-ed, I know Trogette does. I've never come across an APer that has been rude but they usually are very strong minded which isn't a bad thing but it can put some people off.

I have the Sears book on Ap if you would like to borrow it?

HTH
B

[Lemon]

Perhaps watching the programme will give us a better idea of what it's all about. I know I will be watching !

[Seren]

someone remind me that it on

I know I'll forget

[Lemon]

I'll keep bumping it up Ginger bam until tomorrow night ! I will probably forget to do that though and we'll all miss it !!! LOL

[snowy1974]

The twins prog was repeated last week so if you miss the first showing it may be on again.

Im a bit concerned that it may be portrayed as ott behaviour just to get viewers and not as the way of life that it is for the parents and children, but thats just the impression I get from heat mags review.

[Lemon]

I see your point Snowy. We will have to discuss after seeing the programme !

[TopKat]

Won't be watcing....saw the bit about the woman who was still breastfeeding a 5 year old and that put me right off it....Besides it clashes with Murphy's Law!!!

[Lemon]

Yes, this is on tonight at 9pm if anyone is interested it's called "Honey I suckle the kids" or something like that.

[Girlzmum]

Is anyone else watching this? No nappies????? I know I'm not practising AP but isn't that a bit much - she swings that baby round lets him go anywhere, it doesn't look comfortable at all. It does seem to be showing AP at the extreme.

[Sarah]

I had heard about EC - I'd read a lot about it. Can see the benefits but I just wouldn't be committed enough to do it, especially through the night, surely they must put nappies on for night time?
Two comments have stood out for me so far. The Dad who said that he thought being apart was more of an issue for the mother than the child (something I've often believed) and the 4 year old little girl who commented that all her mother ever talks about is breastfeeding! Hmmm......

[Lemon]

I picked up on the second point too Sarah. I also noticed the father said "you shouldn't ask children to respect their elders" mmmm well they certainly don't respect him by calling him an idiot !

[Sarah]

I thought that, I bet they'll be obnoxious little bratts :cheesy:
I think AP has a lot of really good points and if I had any more children I would be far more AP than I have been and would definately baby wear. But I didn't AP my older children and they are well behaved, confident, well adjusted children that I can take anywhere and can stand on their own two feet. So I don't agree with the comment that today's parenting methods are causing children to be insecure etc....

[Girlzmum]

Hmmmmmm, it's not something that appeals to me but I guess it's a choice that works for them.

[Sarah]

Also as much as I love my children, I couldn't be attached to them 24/7. I need time to be 'me'. I think it's good for them and for me to have our own space and time out.

[Bunny]

I did think it was a bit OTT, but me and DH agreed on some parts of it. I felt so sorry for those Northumberland kids, they didn't seem to be allowed to mix with other kids, they're going to be such spoilt brats when they grown, infact I bet they're the sort who'll become bullies in the workplace

[megfenn]

Watched the programme and made my blood boil. I actually agreed with alot of their points (although I don't do AP to that degree or EP), however, their attitude towards parents who don't share their views I found to be very harsh and sanctimonious. The way they made their comments about parents and children who aren't raised their way seemed to point the finger and say they won't turn out to be 'nice' or have high self esteem or be confident or be 'good' people. Not exactly true or justified is that?

I did think the breastfeeding 'get togethers' was interesting and a very good thing to do to promote breastfeeding in the UK. However, the comments that the father made about it were really annoying.

[Lemon]

I agree Megfenn about the points raised towards parents who do not AP. I felt the same as you, but tbh took it on the chin, I would rather do things my way than their way. My children are lovely, well mannered and have self esteem. I do discipline them but, as I point out to them, I have to live and abide by rules in my life as an adult. It is healthy for them to realise this. I fear some of those children will end up wondering what on earth it's all about if they do not experience discipline and rules in the home, once they reach the age where they are mixing with the rest of the human race.

[Sarah]

Well the little girl who was being disciplined by 'reasoning' and without shouting or smacking seemed to be ruling the roost, her Dad was trying to persuade her to do something and what's the betting he lost! I think it's very dangerous if children are taught that they are equal to adults and I think children should respect their elders.

[trogette]

Well... I haven't seen the programme, nor do I *exactly* call myself an attachment parent, but I do breastfeed until either I or my child has had enough (out of 3 successful breastfeeders 1 has self-weaned, one I asked to stop because I was pregnant and it was uncomfortable and she was 4yo and only having a morning feed by that point, and one is still going strong at 21mo.) I 'wear' my youngest, I prefer using slings to pushchairs and feel strongly that babies are designed to be physically close to an adult carer, parent or otherwise, until they indicate a desire to move away. Similarly I co-sleep, partly through laziness at not wanting to get out of bed on a night to feed/comfort/change nappies but mostly because of the biological stuff. I've used Natural Infant Hygiene with two out of my 4. It's about respecting the child's communication about their rear end. I've used nappies at night and I've EC'd at night, mostly because it's easier to get up and take a child for a wee and go back to solid sleep than have them shuffle about for several hours because they're holding it or they're damp.

In evolutionary terms, none of what AP-ers do is extreme at all and most of the world still do it. It's only us supposedly civilised people who expect our babies to behave contrary to what our basic biology suggests.

Any more questions specific to AP could be posted on the AP board?

[Lemon]

That's great you do all of that Trogette and good luck to you.

I understand what you say about the rest of the world still do it, I am assuming your talking about maybe Third World Countries that do not have the resources we do. Maybe if they actually had a choice then possibly some would choose the way the west do it ? Maybe I am not a good enough Mother in order to consider sharing my bed every night and not providing my own milk for whenever my child needs it, but tbh I can sleep at night with what I do for my children and I think its the best for them, just as you would think the way you do it is the best for yours !!! The world would be so dull if we were all the same. x

[trogette]

You know I'd love it if my 'world' was full of people who thought more like me!