Who to trust???

[TopKat]

When me and my hubby got together, we shared a flat with mates. Well, I hadn't met the lassie we shared with, but was good mates with her partner as he was mates with me for years before then. He was also may hubby's best mate, I introduced them.
They had two young kids, they were hers not his but he seemed to be really good with them. The littlest one was a girl, and she was only 4-5 when we lived with them. Her and our mate were really close, and he would read her stories in his room and take her in for naps with them. We never thought much of it, as they were rather hippy and would let both kids nap with them during the day or at weekend.
We found out last week that he is now in jail, for paedophilia. He had been abusing her for years, and when she reached 12-13 she told a family friend, who helped her family go to the police. He plead guilty and was jailed.
We fell out with them years ago, which is why we didn't know any of this until recently. The thing is we would never of suspected a thing at the time, he was only 20ish when we lived with him. As he was ages with us, and we are 28 now. But after we were told it all seemed to obvious.
The poor girl involved, if we had know or suspected sooner, we could of stopped all this a long time ago. I have in the last few years been doing child care modules, including child protection so I would of spotted it a mile of now.
Goes to show that you can never tell what is going on behind closed doors, even in the next room.
It's scary, but who can you ever really trust????
:unsure:

[Sarah]

It is scary hun it happens so much more than we ever realise, such a shame cryingsmil

[smirnoff]

i feel for you and the family. I dont think you ever really know anyone....

[runragged]

Poor girl. cryingsmil But Good for her for having the courage to go to the police & report him.

You mustn't feel bad though, paedophiles are very cunning, they know what they're doing, & how not to get people suspisious.

[TopKat]

Poor girl. cryingsmil But Good for her for having the courage to go to the police & report him.

You mustn't feel bad though, paedophiles are very cunning, they know what they're doing, & how not to get people suspisious.

Yeah true. I think the thing that we forget that is that paedophiles aren't just men in dirty old coats, as they have to start somewhere.

I hope he rots in hell for what he did to her, as well as his partner and her other child, it must of hurt them as well even though he did nothing to them.
Prison isn't enough, nothing can repair the damage done.:angry-smi123

[TopKat]

My hubby is not taking it too well, as they were very close friends for a long time. It is hard not to trust people at all, but without people what kind of life do you have???

[Rhianydd]

it is frightening
my step mum was with a bloke for about 6 months she then found out he was a padeo just glad I never let the kids over there when he was there
said bloke is now in prision in the isle of wight
she found out because she went on holiday and said bloke was looking after the house and he had videoed himself abusing young boys and step mum found the tape and took it straight to the police

[BullyLucy]

I cannot find the words to express how this has made me feel cos
I'm angry that he got away with it for so long:angry-smi123
Upset at the thought of what the child suffered
sick that people like him exist
sorry for his partner because I think realising that you have not been able to protect your child from somethimg so evil must be the worst feeling on earth.

I wish I was at home now because I want to get hold of my little girl and give her the biggest hug ever so she knows mum loves her

[bikemad]

Its scarey isnt it you really dont know who you can trust!!!!

Its the reason ds will never see bd parents cos they abused bd for years til he went into care n id never risk letting ds goes there-saying that bd cant see him anyhows cos he is violent.

I hope he gets what is comeing to him in prison tho prison is too good for men like that!!!!!!:angry-smi123

[wokkies]

Its scarey isnt it you really dont know who you can trust!!!!

Its the reason ds will never see bd parents cos they abused bd for years til he went into care n id never risk letting ds goes there-saying that bd cant see him anyhows cos he is violent.

I hope he gets what is comeing to him in prison tho prison is too good for men like that!!!!!!:angry-smi123
I agree!!!!

[smirnoff]

i know what i would like to see done to abusers...... but its not printable on here.. i would be banned instantly!!!!!!!!!!!

[TopKat]

i know what i would like to see done to abusers...... but its not printable on here.. i would be banned instantly!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell me about it, we have though of most things that we would like to see done to him, and it certainly wouldn't involve inviting him round for a cuppa. I don't condone violence or vigilantism, as people can be victims of mistaken identity, but I would imagine that there would be a few people who would be gunning for him should he ever show his face in his home town again. He has family there so anything is possible.

If it helps, he was jailed in Glasgow and the prisons there don't have a reputation for being nice, so I am sure he'll suffer. Not as much as she did, but nothing will ever compare to what he did to her.

We can't believe he got away with it for so long. It sickens us, and it has tainted all our memories of that time as it was just when we first got together, as something very sinister and f*****g sick was lurking underneath them. (Sorry for the language, but it is the only thing I can say that comes close to expressing how vile this all is.)

It turns my stomach. I feel sick everytime I think of it. Never trust anyone around your parents, sorry to be so pessimistic about it, but this has been a bitter experience. Keep your eyes open at all times.

[TopKat]

I cannot find the words to express how this has made me feel cos
I'm angry that he got away with it for so long:angry-smi123
Upset at the thought of what the child suffered
sick that people like him exist
sorry for his partner because I think realising that you have not been able to protect your child from somethimg so evil must be the worst feeling on earth.

I wish I was at home now because I want to get hold of my little girl and give her the biggest hug ever so she knows mum loves her

I know how you feel, my kids have been hugged so much they are wondering what is going on. Thankfully, they are unaware of all and have never met any of those involved as we knew them before their time.

I do feel for his partner though, and have been tempted to call her, but think as we have not spoken for so long that it would be wrong, and they are probably best not reminded of this when they are coming to terms with everything. She must feel awful. I can't imagine a worse feeling that knowing that you have not been able to protect your child, as well as being let down by your long-term partner in the very worst way imaginable.

I hope they can mend their broken hearts, as well as their broken trust. The little girl was adorable when we knew her, she had alot of nightmares but we understand why now, but she was a little ray of sunshine. Hard to imagine how she was at that age with all this going on, but she was really lovely. I pray that this doesn't taint her life and any future realtionships that she may have.