Sorry, but my children bore me to death!

[sanjan]

this was in todays Daily Mail

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=397672&in_page_id=1879&ico=Homepage&icl=TabModule&icc=FEMAIL&ct=5

what do you think?

I wonder why she bothered having children if she finds spending time with them a bore.

Words fail me.

I know you don't need to spend evey hour of the day with them but all children like to see their parents at atleast one school concert and have days out with them.

and it does not hurt to give advice on the odd bit of homework (or prep as she calls it)

[smirnoff]

for gods sake.. what a stupid stuck up arogant twat.
No children are not into the same things that we are, and yes we all need a break but why have chidlren if you dont want to spend time with them and watch them grow and develop apart from the fact that it is "the expected thing to do". IT makjes me really angry as i went to a school with loads of girls who had been thrown in there boarding so they didnt cramp their parents styles...
how do they expect their children to grow up being able to take care of their own children feeling loved and nurtured..
Rant over... for the mo...

[Sarah]

Just had this debate on another forum. This was what I wrote......

I adore my children, they have given me sooo much pleasure. Sometimes I just sit watching their faces as they are doing something or watching something on the telly, I just love to see their expressions. I love watching them grown and their personalities develop. I have to admit I hate kids parties and would give anything not to go, there are many of their activities that I would rather not go to but I'd never let them know that. I've made many sacrifices for my children and have done them willingly, when they were born I decided that I wanted to give them my time and my love, after all their childhood is so short, I'd hate to miss out on any part of it. As a consequence of that I've missed out on things for me, I gave up a really good job with career prospects but I'd do it all again - they are my children and I love them, they deserve all we can give them and sadly so much more that we can't http://www.mumsonline.net/forums/images/smilies/sad0.gif

[Whassat]

i got bored halfway through reading that!....as Smirnoff said, stuck up, arrogant twit!...why bother having them in the first place,
didn't read it all....did she say if her kids bought her 'any' joy?

[smirnoff]

i got bored halfway through reading that!....as Smirnoff said, stuck up, arrogant twit!...why bother having them in the first place,
didn't read it all....did she say if her kids bought her 'any' joy?
nope. she couldnt even face reading her kids their bedtime story!!!!!!!!!!

I dont know.. together with my dp we make a conscious decision that when we were priviledged enough to carry ds to term that he came first in everything that we did.. ok so yes like Sarah and many others here i have "made sacrifices" but that was my choice. I chose to have him adn the girls. Other options were adn are available. My children are what keep me going adn drive me crazy at the same time, i would do anything for them, fight as many battles as possible for them, love them, hug them, cherish them and thank god (or whatever) for them every single day. They are my gifts (as a very good friend of mine puts it, gifts from god) and i wouldnt want to be without them. There are so many people out there who cant have children or lose them that articles like this really get to me. Selfish cow.

[Whassat]

nope. she couldnt even face reading her kids their bedtime story!!!!!!!!!!

I dont know.. together with my dp we make a conscious decision that when we were priviledged enough to carry ds to term that he came first in everything that we did.. ok so yes like Sarah and many others here i have "made sacrifices" but that was my choice. I chose to have him adn the girls. Other options were adn are available. My children are what keep me going adn drive me crazy at the same time, i would do anything for them, fight as many battles as possible for them, love them, hug them, cherish them and thank god (or whatever) for them every single day. They are my gifts (as a very good friend of mine puts it, gifts from god) and i wouldnt want to be without them. There are so many people out there who cant have children or lose them that articles like this really get to me. Selfish cow.
:iagree: :angry: :angry:

[smirnoff]

sorry things like this make me stand on my soapbox and shout and scream until someone takes notice...

[Whassat]

sorry things like this make me stand on my soapbox and shout and scream until someone takes notice...

i'm listening :happy72: :kissykiss

[ruthie]

I feel so sorry for those poor children, why if she felt like that after having one child did she go on to have another one? Those children must feel unloved and if they don't now when they get older I think they will hold it against her. Yes it can be boring at times to be with the children 24/7 but most of the time it is what makes your life worth living. I can honestly say I use to look forward to the school holidays when we could do things together. Perhaps her upbringing was the same, I think you learn how to be a parent from your own so obviously if they aren't interested, unloving etc it is probably harder to be a parent yourself, I know many overcome this but I guess some don't.

[smirnoff]

maybe we should email the daily mail... with this thread and see whether they do a reply article...

[lisa1980]

:smiley-fa i cant believe her attitude those poor kids i do get bored with some stuff but i dont show it to dd i get involved otherwise she feels unloved i may like a break from her sometimes but who doesnt? as someone said why bother having kids in the first place? espically the second she just seems to have her priorites all wrong

[MrTempleDene]

Must admit, I couldn't read that, she was just an annoying stuck up little (deleted as I don't want to get banned)

Very victorian attitude, leave bringing up the kids to nanny, I'll bet her mum was the same with her!

[Tinkabell]

I stopped reading half way through as I was getting annoyed with the stupid woman.

We all have days when the same old conversation, stories etc with the kids make us bored, but the days when they give you a hug and tell you they love you unprompted make up for these days.

She is not bringing these kids up the nanny is. I wonder how the kids feel about the article.

I worked from my eldest being 6 months to 3 years and missed out on so much, when ever I mention returning to work all I get is NO we like you being here all the time. Yes I may get bored, but at least I know when my children need me I am there for them.

[runragged]

selfish cow :angry:

unbelievable.

[englishrose]

some people!!!

[lindy]

To have the nerve to admit to it too!!bet if she claimed dole and smoked lamberts then SS would be on her like a ton of brick,seems that its acceptable bcause she is upper class,i dont mean to us but to that type of society,children are just accessories,not kids that need to be played with,loved,laughed with,disciplined and taught a moral way,no let the nanny do everything and then complain if they have to go watch their kids achieve something "Doh" id rather be poor then if thats the case.

[Katiequiggle]

Silly bitch, should be steralised before she has any more. These type of women have children as trophies, thank God they have a loving Nanny, lets hope she sticks around for a long time.

[Netty]

I couldn't read the whole of the article either.

Have to admit that sometimes ds (especially) drives me mad and I think I would rather be able to go out to work, but I do love doing things with them - and I actually like going to parties etc!

[Suzzy Q]

I grew up with a stay at home mum who was totally disinterested in anything I did. She went to just one school programme and I heard all about how horrible it was. I was well fed and cared for but emotionally neglected. Recognizing what happened in my childhood helped me understand why I have had a life long struggle with my self worth and self esteem. I wonder if these kids will turn out the same way.

Suzzy

[wokkies]

what an awful woman

[Ravenfire]

You have to question why this woman ever had children in the first place when she is obviously such a selfish individual. How can anyone that has hardly any impact in their childs life and lets the nanny do it all say that she loves her child as much as the next person - how can she. For me looking after my children is never boring, yes it can be hard work but I believe we learn as much from our children as they learn from us. I pity her because she will look back one day and realise just what she has missed out on.

[smirnoff]

You have to question why this woman ever had children in the first place when she is obviously such a selfish individual. How can anyone that has hardly any impact in their childs life and lets the nanny do it all say that she loves her child as much as the next person - how can she. For me looking after my children is never boring, yes it can be hard work but I believe we learn as much from our children as they learn from us. I pity her because she will look back one day and realise just what she has missed out on.
well said!!
It is hard work, and yes reading the same story for the 100th time that hour can be frustrating, but never boring as they find something new in it each time they hear it!
Maybe its just me, but i find joy in the little changes in them each day.. a new word, a new skill, a hug, a smile or like this morning a very dodgey breakfast in bed!

[Rhianydd]

she shouldnt have had children with that attitude

[bikemad]

maybe we should email the daily mail... with this thread and see whether they do a reply article...

Thats not a bad idea!!!

That woman shouldnt be allowed to have kids-what a heartless cow!!!!!:angry-smi123

[smirnoff]

have emailed them.. this is what i wrote...

[smirnoff]

RE: Sorry, but my children bore me to death!
by HELEN KIRWAN-TAYLOR, Daily Mail 17:50pm 26th July 2006

I am part of a forum for parents and we have been discussing this article. We were all completely horrified with what was said and cannot understand why she ever had children in the first place. We all agree that there are issues with raising children that are very difficult, stressful and frustrating, but not boring. How can it possibly be described as “boring” when each child is so very different and change each day??

Apart from it being “the expected and right thing to do” why on earth did this woman bother having children? Surely the point of having children is to love, nurture and to share in their adventures and experiences?

I like many other stay at home mums gave up a fulfilling career with prospects to look after my children. I would not change that for all the money in the world (although some more would help!!). Together with my partner we made a conscious decision that when we were privileged enough to carry our first child to term (we had a miscarriage before him) that he came first in everything that we did. Ok so yes like many other parents I have "made sacrifices" but that was my choice. I chose to have him and my girls. Other options were and are available.

My children drive me crazy and keep me sane at the same time but I would never be without any of them. The little things make the difference; the smiles, the jokes, the hugs and kisses the excitement of being able to do something for the first time and so on..

I cannot believe that this woman can sit there complaining about having to spend some time with her children, not even sparing the time to read them a bedtime story which in my opinion can be one of the most magical times of the day. I know so many very amazing women who would love to be able to have children of their own but for one reason or another they are unable to. Did she ever stop to consider how an article such as this may affect them?? Or all those other people who have been through the tragic events of losing a child or nursing them through long term and serious illness?? In my opinion she has no idea how lucky she is.

She obviously has not thought of the consequences to the children as they grow up either. How are they meant to become fully involved with their children and events in their lives if they have never been shown how to give or receive affection and time now?

A very good friend of mine refers to children as “blessings” or “gifts from God”. I fully agree that children are special treasures to be loved and nurtured. I believe that I am one of the luckiest women in the world to have 3 very precious gifts that I have been entrusted to look after. I love my children and would give anything to make sure that they stay happy and healthy. Articles like this just make me angry.

Yours faithfully

[Ravenfire]

you should have put the name of the forum in..lol..let us know if you get a response.

[Whassat]

well said smirmoff and well done for voicing your opinions (and ours)

[curlybird]

Well done smirnoff... :happy72: Great email hon..

I was unbelievably lucky with my up bringing as thoughout I felt totally loved and cherished and have fond memories of spending hours on end cooking, reading, playing, singing and having fun with my mother (and dad when he was home) and if my dh and I are lucky enough to concieve then I want my child to be as lucky as I was.

I'm now 32 and have had the career that I wanted and have enjoyed the luxuries in life but I desperately want to give all that up and spend the rest of my life raising a child or two. That stupid woman needs to take a step back and realise what she has got before she opens her mouth again :angry: :angry:

[smirnoff]

you should have put the name of the forum in..lol..let us know if you get a response.
i was going to!! LOL then dp said i shouldnt as i hadnt checked with you!! But then ds clicked send and it was gone for good!!!

This is the response...

[smirnoff]

Thank you very much for your recent communication.

We receive a great deal of correspondence each day and, although I may not be able to respond to you personally, please rest assured that I do take the time to read all the emails I receive. Those intended for publication on the letters page will be considered carefully.

If you do not see your point of view in print, however, I hope you will appreciate it is only possible to publish a small percentage of the letters we receive.

Any emails deemed more appropriate for other departments will be forwarded for their consideration.

Thank you for your interest in the Daily Mail, I am grateful to you for taking the time to contact us.

Yours sincerely,

ANDY SIMPSON
Daily Mail Readers' Letters Editor

[Ravenfire]

They dont seem to have added any new comments to it recently

[smirnoff]

we shall wait adn see...

[smirnoff]

dont know whether it means anything but i have been asked for my full postal address so it can be consideed for publication!! Yeah!! And i have informed them about mumszone!!

[Sarah]

We were discussing this last night and someone came up with a totally different perspective and while I don't condone what that woman is saying at all you sometimes have to look at the bigger picture. Maybe this woman hasn't learned love and sacrifice from her parents, maybe it's just a continuation of all she knows. If you are not brought up in a loving and affectionate environment then it's very difficult when you have a family of your own. I found this with my dh, he was brought up by his Mum who is not affectionate and never pushed them to do anything or better themselves. She loved them in her own way and provided and cared for them which can't have been easy being on her own with 2 boys. When dh was 17 he had a serious motocycle accident, he was rushed to hospital in an ambulance and straight into theatre, when the police called round to tell his Mum she said she'd visit him the next day as it was late!! Now I would have been straight there even if I'd have had to walk all the way, but it's just how she is, she's quite shallow but not in a nasty way she's just never known any different.
Anyway just thought I'd say that as I've thought about it a lot.

[wokkies]

great email smirnoff, and thats a good point you put across too smirnoff

[wokkies]

[QUOTE=wokkies]great email smirnoff, and thats a good point you put across too sarah

[wokkies]

sorry thought i had gone to edit my last post cos i put smirnoff instead of sarah, and i must have clicked on quote instead of edit iykwim

[smirnoff]

lol

[Girlzmum]

Why on earth did she have children if she felt like this about them?

Yes, I insist on having some me time from the kids (I know that not everyone would agree with me but I need some time to feel like me and not just mummy and wife) but if I spend time away from my girls I make sure I also spend some time with them (hope that makes sense)
I'm off to uni full time in Sept and I'm dreading leaving the girls, I'll be running home at the end of the day to see them. I don't understand how someone can spend all day away from their children and not want to spend time with them when they get home.

[Sarah]

Awwww wokkies we do love you - don't ever change :wub:

[wokkies]

aww thankyou at least someone loves me, lol

[angel1980]

Didn't dare post yesterday as everyone obviously (and understandably) disagrees with this woman, but I have to say that I admire her honesty! Yes she is very extreme in what she says but a lot of it rings true, I don't find any part of motherhood has come very naturally to me at all, I find sitting on the floor and actually playing with ds very hard. Sounds terrible I know. But I think there is so much pressure on mothers to enjoy every aspect of it that I don't think I've ever dared to say out loud anything that I've wanted to say for the last 7 years!!!

While I don't agree with everything she has said, a lot of it i understand. Like this,

' All those glossy magazine spreads showing celebrity mothers looking serene at home with their children serve only to make women feel inadequate. What the pictures don't show is the monotony, loneliness and relentless domesticity that goes with child-rearing.

They don't show the tantrums, the food spills and the ten aborted attempts at putting on shoes. They don't show the husband legging it to the pub so he doesn't have to change a nappy, either.'

How true!!

Right I think i'll go now, lol, just thought I'd say my bit!

[smirnoff]

i agree with parts of it... the lonliness and monotony ofdomesticity, and no not all of being a mum came naturally.. but i have learnt and love it. IT just takes time and love....

[Sarah]

Didn't dare post yesterday as everyone obviously (and understandably) disagrees with this woman, but I have to say that I admire her honesty! Yes she is very extreme in what she says but a lot of it rings true, I don't find any part of motherhood has come very naturally to me at all, I find sitting on the floor and actually playing with ds very hard. Sounds terrible I know. But I think there is so much pressure on mothers to enjoy every aspect of it that I don't think I've ever dared to say out loud anything that I've wanted to say for the last 7 years!!!

While I don't agree with everything she has said, a lot of it i understand. Like this,

' All those glossy magazine spreads showing celebrity mothers looking serene at home with their children serve only to make women feel inadequate. What the pictures don't show is the monotony, loneliness and relentless domesticity that goes with child-rearing.

They don't show the tantrums, the food spills and the ten aborted attempts at putting on shoes. They don't show the husband legging it to the pub so he doesn't have to change a nappy, either.'

How true!!

Right I think i'll go now, lol, just thought I'd say my bit!

I can identify with you and thank you for your honesty I admire that. I'm not one for sitting on the floor playing or spending hours endlessly reading books to them and I do feel guilty about that. I see friends who just seem to live for their children and while I love and care for mine I think I'm too selfish to give them that amount of my time. I did give up my career to be at home with them and I've never regretted that but it is hard and lonely and sometimes boring too.

[smirnoff]

i dont think anyuone would disagree with that.. cetainly noone here.... but its different finding things hard to not wanting to even go to a concert..

[Ravenfire]

I can honestly say I have never found it boring though.

[smirnoff]

no me niether but maybe monotonous - housework and stuff not the children!!

[Ravenfire]

Yes I agree the housework is boring..lol!

[angel1980]

Yes I think that's it, I see my friends and family being how I think a mum should be and it just doesn't seem to be me, I'm not sure if it ever will, lol. Things like school plays and stuff I wouldn't miss for the world though.

[angel1980]

Sorry, was a bit slow posting that last post, it doesn't make sense now, nevermind!

[Ravenfire]

Thats where you differ from this other lady though Angel she wasnt interested in that aspect of her childrens life either - makes no sense to me!

[Ravenfire]

I meant the way she is makes no sense not your post.

[Girlzmum]

Have to say Angel - those Celebrity mums probably have a nanny, cleaner and chef to make their lives as easy as possible and that's why they look so serene!
I began on the me time after madam was born because I was having a really hard time adjusting to being a mum, I just felt like I was losing my identity to the baby and I had real trouble bonding with her (wasn't helped by being in a really bad way after birth) Getting a bit of time to just myself really helped me to adjust to what was happening and really saved my sanity. Motherhood is really hard and seeing those bloody picture perfect women just infuriates me - I just want to scream at them for making people strive for an ideal that just isn't going to happen. I've accepted that my house will NEVER be tidy, my girls will throw tantrums and I'll never have a time in my life when I'm not worrying about them but I'm happy with it.

[smirnoff]

i agree

[wokkies]

i just couldnt leave little ds with a nanny, did with big ds and misssed out on loads and was not that much financially better off, with dd i helped out at nursery and sports day, etc, and I would hate to miss anything with little ds he seems to learn something new everyday like today, dh forgot he wanted to go to the petrol station and said oh for gods sake i wanted some petrol so little ds keps saying oh sake oh sake for the next mile till we got the petrol, then fell asleep and still is, but she must have missed things like first steps, first words etc as well as all the school and nursery plays and sprts days

[wokkies]

Have to say Angel - those Celebrity mums probably have a nanny, cleaner and chef to make their lives as easy as possible and that's why they look so serene!
I began on the me time after madam was born because I was having a really hard time adjusting to being a mum, I just felt like I was losing my identity to the baby and I had real trouble bonding with her (wasn't helped by being in a really bad way after birth) Getting a bit of time to just myself really helped me to adjust to what was happening and really saved my sanity. Motherhood is really hard and seeing those bloody picture perfect women just infuriates me - I just want to scream at them for making people strive for an ideal that just isn't going to happen. I've accepted that my house will NEVER be tidy, my girls will throw tantrums and I'll never have a time in my life when I'm not worrying about them but I'm happy with it.oh no dont mention tantrums, little ds had one when his little friend came round and his mum said i think its time for us to go elliot after asking me if i thought it was best, did tell little ds he would stay in the kitchen on his own but he wanted his friend to come with him, even though he had thrown the entire contents of the toybox at him, lol wouldnt miss it for the world though

[angel1980]

That's the thing though, a lot of people will admit to finding motherhood hard but no-one dares to say that, actually... this isn't all that great!! Although maybe not that many people feel that way and those that do, don't dare to say it. I don't think it necessarily makes you a bad parent though, well I hope not, lol.

[Sarah]

No I love the school concerts and all that kind of thing, I meant sometimes just being stuck at home doing housework and stuff can be boring. I've never found my children boring just some of the stuff they want to do.

[angel1980]

No I love the school concerts and all that kind of thing, I meant sometimes just being stuck at home doing housework and stuff can be boring. I've never found my children boring just some of the stuff they want to do.

Yep that's how I feel. I don't find ds boring, just the whole motherhood thing I guess! Not sure if that's sounds worse than i mean it, think i'm digging myself into a hole now!! :fryingpan:

[wokkies]

I agree with you angel, bloomin balamory gets boring after the same episode every day, as does saying no all the time and no one taking notice of you when you are telling them no, lol waffling now

[Sarah]

I wonder if that part of it is tougher for stay at home mum's, I guess if you work full time or part time then you appreciate the time you have with your children far more and you also get out of the house and do 'grown up' things. I've sometimes wondered if I'd be better at being a Mum if I spent time away from them each day, dunno just thinking out loud.

[wokkies]

I often think i would enjoy the time more with the kids if i was working for so many hours specially atm as the 2 big ones are both arguing and a water bomb is involved grrrrr they are still at it, right off to look for a full time job but might take little ds with me

[angel1980]

I wonder if that part of it is tougher for stay at home mum's, I guess if you work full time or part time then you appreciate the time you have with your children far more and you also get out of the house and do 'grown up' things. I've sometimes wondered if I'd be better at being a Mum if I spent time away from them each day, dunno just thinking out loud.

Yes I can agree with that too! I start college in Sept so will see a bit less of ds, even though he's at school all day anyway, but then I'll probably be so tired from college that I'll want to do even less with him, lol, only joking. (I hope!!)

[sanjan]

Yes I think that's it, I see my friends and family being how I think a mum should be and it just doesn't seem to be me, I'm not sure if it ever will, lol. Things like school plays and stuff I wouldn't miss for the world though.

exactly - I love the school concerts especially the christmas one

it seems this woman would not be interested in these I bet

[BullyLucy]

Right Blood has now reached boiling point and I have to say something about this woman.

She is a selfish ***** who does not deserve to have kids.
Having kids is not a god given right. I spent 10 years trying to have a baby.
Three of them were born 5/6 months into the preganancy. I had to endure a full labour with each of them just to have to bury them. I finally hasdmy precious dd at the age of 34 and she was prem. I would not wish this on anyone but maybe if she gone through what I had to she might just appreciate what she has.

My dd is the most important person in my life, she is my reason for living.
Course she annoys me, makes me angry and frustrates me but then she will just say "I love you" out of the blue and I am in seventh heaven.

Why didn't she just buy a gucci bag if she wanted an accessory. They are much cheaper (Just) and you can put them in the cupboard when not needed.