Sorry to moan...

[myname]

My little problems seem a insignificant in comparison to those of other people here, but I'm struggling atm. I have lovely, usually well behaved children, but now 3 of them are teenagers and one will be next year, I'm finding myself constantly dealing with school problems, helping with coursework, listening to 'it's not fair' problems, constant 'what I could really do with is..' requests from ds2 who knows we don't have much spare money, 'I don't like this dinner..', 'what have we got to eat?', 'I'm sure so-and-so had more than I did..' moans. I feel at the end of my tether, since I'm trying hard to be fair to everyone. I know it's nothing out of the ordinary, but I'm worn out and have no-one near to help or support me.

I am waiting for the day when someone says 'mum, can I get you a drink?'. They will if I ask, but it would be nice to have one offered.
I have to exclude ds1 from all this, cos he is always lovely, but usually has his head in a computer book/programme.
Sorry to grumble....Luckily sis is always at the end of the phone and ready to listen.
Hope you all have a good day x

[Netty]

Sorry I have no advice - not got to the teenage stage yet (thank god). Hopefuuly someone else will be able to help soon.

Don't worry about moaning, your difficulties are just as important as some of the bigger issues ...

[lizzie]

Not much advice really , hot weather does'nt help though does it (((hugs)))

[sanjan]

""cutey""b hun

thats teens for you .

also sounds like my house and I only have 1 teen and a nearly 10 yr old

as for "it's not fair" you will never ever win that battle no matter how hard you try so save your sanity and give up now

[essexgirl]

""cutey""b ""cutey""b to you

[myname]

Not much advice really , hot weather does'nt help though does it (((hugs)))

Definitely-I don't feel I have as much patience when it's hot and all the things that I usually let go over my head get on my nerves instead.

Thanks ladies.

[smirnoff]

im not there yet.. although we do have the "its not fair" stuff now!!
All i can do is offer you a drink, a sit down and put your feet up and chill....
Hugs to you hunni and your problems are not insignificant.. we all need to moan now and again.....

[mumsiejudy]

Thankfully I'm nearly through with the teenage stage although my youngest who is 18 is and always has been lovely. He is of the rare breed who is frequently asking if there is anything he can do to help or what needs doing. He tells me to sit down and put my feet up and he will do whatever can't wait. Eats what he is given and rarely complains. Eats me out of house though and I'm sure I only fill the cupboards for his benefit. Although he is nearly 19 he still asks if he can go out but forgets to tell me that he means all night. Don't think though that I haven't seen the teenagers that you have as this one is no.5. When they say it isn't fair, the reply is that life is not fair and there is nothing you can do about it. If they don't like what is on the menu tell them to go without or see to themselves. Start giving yourself time, this is most important. Start telling everyone what you would like. Remind them all that you are you, their mum, and where would they be without you. As for school coursework. Is this yours or theirs in which case show them the computer or remind them of books and maybe their local library. They are all old enough to do this without you doing it for them. Fortunately none of mine tried this one. Maybe they thought I was too dim to know what they were talking about(I expect this was true). I used to listen, make sympathetic noises and try to point them in the right direction. Don't know if I have rambled too much or whether I have been of any use but do carry on moaning. It does us all good to get it off our chests and it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one who moans about my lot. Chin up and sit down for a few minutes.

[myname]

No, the rambling is fine, thank you. It's good to know that someone else thinks I'm being reasonable in expecting them to stop moaning so much and take more responsiblity. Thing is, I seem to have forgotten what I like and want after so long with no time or money.
I think years of depression have taken their toll, although I'm ok now and have always managed to keep going no matter what, but at the moment.....and I know this is pointless and I'll regret saying it because my children are all lovely.....I've had enough and I don't want to be a mum anymore. I really hate it and wish I'd never done it. There! It's out. Maybe I'll feel better now I've said it. I'm sure I don't mean it really, but I feel like I do.

[EmmyC]

""cutey""b ""cutey""b ""cutey""b ""cutey""b

[Lemon]

Awww ... Louise, there I days that I don't want to be a Mum and throw the towel in too, it's normal. The constant demands, winging, bickering, I just want to walk out of the door and let them all get on with it. Just because you moan about them, doesn't mean you don't love them which you clearly do so much. I do think as they get older they must take some responsibility, not only will it show them all the things you actually do for them but teach them how to stand on their own two feet. My 6 year old is normally quite helpful and even hung the washing out on the line for me the other day. I tell them that if they help me out, I will help them out and have more time to be with them. It's true what MumsieJudy said life isn't always fair no matter how old or what age you are. I remember my BIL saying to his 12 year old son after he said "Dad it's not fair" he replied "No, it's not fair but that is how it is" he shuttup after that ! HTH x

[myname]

Thanx Lemon. I do feel guilty moaning when so many people reading this are desperate to be mums. I was myself once! And I am so proud of my children. I think I made them all sound like a bunch of lazy good-for-nothings, but they're not. When they see I'm down or just that dh and I have a lot to do, they do housework, make cakes, deal with the younger ones and are very sweet. They work hard and when I say I help with their work, it's just advice, I don't do it for them. It's just that sometimes, for someone who came from an almost silent household of strict parents and two well behaved little girls, a family of three boys and two girls and often their friends as well seems like a riot and it all gets a bit much.cryingsmil
Thanx for letting me moan. Feeling a bit better now xx :yes:

[twiglet333]

Im thinking of you sweetie, sometimes that type of problem is twice and depressing and as tyring as any major one.

hugs.

[vikki]

awwwwwwwwww, big hugs to you, remember your a wonderful mum and wife. You do need some time for yourself and you really deserve it, hang on in therexxxxx

[myname]

Thanks guys xx
""cutey""b

[emma_buzz]

Im thinking of you sweetie, sometimes that type of problem is twice and depressing and as tyring as any major one.

hugs.
:iagree: ""cutey""b

[Easties]

sweetie your problems are no less significant than anyone elses on here so dont you worry we all have problems weather they are big or small we are all here for each other
i dont really have any advice as not reached that stage yet but i really hope you feel better soon babe and this heat certainly does not help xxxxxx

[emma_buzz]

sweetie your problems are no less significant than anyone elses on here so dont you worry we all have problems weather they are big or small we are all here for each other
i dont really have any advice as not reached that stage yet but i really hope you feel better soon babe and this heat certainly does not help xxxxxx
i really really agree with this lol

[myname]

You're all very sweet and have made me feel much better xx
And yes, it's bloomin hot and I am useless in this heat!