help needed....

[loopychick]

i stay at my mums every sunday til monday and i have to sleep in the same room as my dd ellie which of course is not the problem but she wakes up in the middle of the night and also gets into my bed, last night she didn't even wake me up when she climbed in, my question is has anyone got any advice on how to get my dd to stay in her own bad at night? any advice appretiated

[vikki]

its a bit difficult as you are in the same room, does she do it when you are at home?

[smirnoff]

sorry hun, the only thing that i can suggest is that you put her back into her own bed each time she gets out. Try a reward if she stays in her own bed all night, we used stickers and when he had stayed in his own bed for a whole week then he got to go and get some sweets from the shop.. silly things like that worked for us...

apart from that, no advice really. Sorry

[Seren]

arwww, my ds#1 used to do this when I was a single parent and lived in a 1 bed flat, I gave up the bedroom for him and slept on a sofa bed and half way through the night he used to climb in with me, at first I would carry him and put him back to his bed, after a while he managed to get in with me and not wake me, I got used to it and rather enjoyed waking up with him.

My advice which you probably won't like is, if it is a big enough bed whats the harm? Enjoy it while you can, she will grow out of it, Ds grew out of it when he was about 4. If it is a real problem for you I guess some kind of treat. I think it's nice tho, thats just me

[loopychick]

thanks for your advice, no she doesn't do it when she's home only at my mums house i get what you mean aboutit being nice to wake up with her next to me cos i really like that but i'm more worried about her getting more dependant on sleeping with me

[Seren]

maybe it is just because she knows she is in a different place/room and that being with you is familar. If she doesn't do it at home then it's likely that she will only do it somewhere where she maybe feels a bit vulnerable.

Maybe you could find out if it monster worry, by saying isn't it nice to stay at nanna's we get to do different things and sleep in a special bed and see what she says, it could just be it's not her own bed like at home. Maybe a bear or blanket would help from home when yu stay there

HTH

[Furbee]

I totally sympathise with you. Having the same problem with my SD at the mo.
Wish I could help you more, but Im at a loss aswell.

Thinking of you though and sending hugs of encouragment to get through this.

""cutey""b ""cutey""b ""cutey""b ""cutey""b ""cutey""b "

[Lemon]

I agree with Gingerbam, if it doesn't bother you and it's only one night a week at your Mums I would leave it and enjoy the time together.

Perhaps only do something about it if she starts doing it at home aswell. Lemon

[vikki]

i would say it is something special you share, a treat and as long as she doesn't do it when your home i would enjoy it. I love early morning snuggles

[loopychick]

thankyou for all your words of wisdom they have been really helpfull i think i will still have the morning snuggles which i like but at the same time i think i'll gradually try and get her to sleep in her own bed

[Trinity]

Hiya - I am with Gingerbam & Lemon, if it is only one night and you canget to sleep then just let it go.

My dd is 3 & half and still occassionally comes in beside us in the middle of the night and yes, I should put her back but I just let her snuggle in and we all get a sleep. If I was to take her back to her she jsut cries & cries and still ends up back in our bed, and these days I am so tired as I have been working well into the night.

She will eventually stay in her bed once she gets used to staying at your mums I am sure.

[Hemyola Shantini]

Your daughter should always sleep with you, at home and at your mom or anywhere. This totally new idea of forcing young children out of what they need causes a lot of emotional pain for the child and in the long term make them more dependent. They become dependent and eventually go for shopping, drugs, food etc, because they seek to get their natural needs met.

Meet her need. Sleep with her. What is injoyable is what is good. What she wants is what is best for her. Billions of parents sleep with their children and these children become the smartest and best adjusted because they have no stress. Listen to "Babies and Toddlers, to Tame or to Trust,"

[Ravenfire]

Hemyola Im sorry but what a load of tosh. And, making a child independent does not encourage them to become drug addicts and whats wrong with shopping for food, we all need it!

[Tess]

hmmmmmnn :yes: i agree Raven

hows the bedtime at your parents house now Loopy?

[mumsiejudy]

I had this problem with ds right from the moment he was born. He screamed in his cot from day 1 but within 30secs. of being close to me he was asleep. He stayed in bed with us until he was 11 despite all the bribes we could think of as well as carrying him back to his own bed but when he turned 11 he said one night he was going into his own bed as boys of 11 didn't sleep with their mums and he never returned to our room. He is nearly 19 now and is a lovely lad, well adjusted and confident, kind and considerate. I do not know if sleeping with us made him like this but I still miss him by me and waking up for a cuddle and chat to start the day. I should add he suffered very badly with bronchitus (can't spell) in his first year stopping breathing several times and if he hadn't been in bed with us I am convinced he would not be with us today. Personally, I don't think there is a right or wrong way of thinking about children in bed with their parents. It is up to them to see what works for them.

[trogette]

Raven I think you're being disingenuous in your reply... I broadly agree that it's not biologically normal for human babies and young children to sleep on their own and pushing a child towards independence when they're not ready... oh yunno I don't have the energy. I just wish sometimes that people would remember that they're posting on a supposedly attachment parenting board.