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1. Birth bonding. Spending time with your new arrival when they arrive, rather than baby being taken away allows both the parents and the child to use the special time of awareness after birth to its full potential and to create the beginnings of a strong parent child bond.

2. Breastfeeding. As well as the well known benefits of breastfeeding for both mother and baby, breastfeeding also teaches mum about baby’s natural cues, reading baby’s state of mind from their expression, actions and behaviour, which paves they way to understanding baby’s needs in other areas. Breastfeeding also strengthens the mother child bond, as it has to be done in a situation where baby is supported and comforted by mum’s arms and held against her body.

3. Babywearing. Babies who are carried spend more time in the ‘quiet alertness’ state, which is the state in which they learn best. Babies who are carried are more involved in their parents’ world than babies who are in pushchairs or cots, removed from interaction with their parents. Baby wearing can also calm an otherwise fussy baby.

4. Bedding close to baby. This can be in a family bed, with a cot pushed against the bed, or just in the same room. Babies are reassured by the presence of their parents through the night, and the speed with which their parents can respond to them helps reinforce the message ‘You are safe, I am here and I am watching over you’

5. Belief in the language value of your baby's cry. A baby's cry is a signal. It is a baby’s most obvious method of communication. Responding to your baby’s cry tells them that you have heard them calling for whatever they need, and builds baby’s trust. A baby’s cry can communicate all sorts of things and attentive parents soon find that they can tell what they baby needs from the cry, whether that is food, a nappy change or cuddles. Babies do not cry out of spite, or because they are bored. Babies cry because they need something and they have no way of satisfying that need themselves.

6. Beware of baby trainers. Attachment parenting teaches that all babies are individuals and encourages you to think critically about the suggestions that you will receive for your babies care. Very few people using attachment parenting will also use a rigid schedule laid out as the ideal schedule in a book written by someone who has never met their baby and doesn’t know the natural rhythms of their household, nor will they use cry it out methods; these may work in the short term, but they also devalue your baby’s cry and will lead to a break down in the trust that you have worked hard to build up. Cry it out methods always remind me of the NSPCC advert which says ‘Miles is a very quiet baby – he has learnt that nobody comes if he cries’.

7. Balance. Attachment Parenting is not about putting baby’s needs above your own; while attachment parenting encourages you to respond to your baby’s needs, attachment parenting is also about building a family life which is supportive of your needs as a mother or father. The key here is sensible balance – If you would like an evening out, how about a meal for mummy and daddy where baby comes too? A baby in sling, especially a breastfed baby who doesn’t need milk heated, is very easy to take to a restaurant, and will probably sleep through the whole meal. If you need some time to relax, maybe have a shower and read a book for an hour, attachment parenting encourages you to do that. Many attachment parenting mums will say that they are happy to let dad care for the baby while they look after their needs, because they know that Dad is in tune with baby’s needs. Again slings can be very helpful here, as the sling provides a sense of comfort and belonging, no matter who is wearing it, mum, dad, grandma or a baby sitter. Of this list, I believe that number 5 belief in your baby’s cry is the most fundamental tool, and one that parents often use without thinking; however it is also the one which is most often eroded by the comments of people around you – He is just being difficult; let her cry, it will exercise her lungs; He can’t need to be fed / held / cuddled/ changed again, just let him be and he will stop on his own. Often these comment have at their core something which goes against one of the underlying principles of attachment parenting – babies do not have wants, they experience everything as needs, that is they genuinely have a need to be held or fed, rather than thinking that it would be nice, or I am bored, lets see what I can get if I cry.

Many mums and dads start off baby wearing, for a least some of the time, thanks to popularity of the baby Bjorn carrier, but find these too fiddly, too uncomfortable and too complicated to get baby in and out of to use them for long. If you take a look around the internet you can find some great baby wearing resources, which will show you the range of baby carriers out there. Often a simple baby sling would have allowed the parents to continue to carry baby, far more comfortably for both of them, for longer than the mainstream carrier that they were using allowed.

One final comment, attachment parenting is not permissive parenting; it is not never saying no to your baby; it is about understanding your baby’s needs and empathizing with them, while still having boundaries. An attached baby, or child, who is refused something deals with this more easily than one whose needs are not being respected, and feels that their parents just aren’t ‘listening’.